the picnic was nice. it ended up just being me, james, carra, and charles with some kfc in the park, but it was good. the weather's still nippy, but pretty enough. ended up coming back to 4109 for tequila and movies. watched harold and maude for the first time in a while last night. I had forgotten how powerful it is; it's the kind of movie that changed lives upon its release and still does.

I have absolutely got to find a steady job. being kept in suspense by spherion is not helping my sanity or my wallet.

segway into: lately I've felt like my life has become a complete vacuum. seen groundhog day? than you have some idea of how I'm existing. I've gone through periods like this before, where absolutely nothing happens. but as living off-campus is less conducive to random events, could this vacuum last indefinitely? although I'm happy with my social life, it's still markedly limited compared to what I'm used to. I guess it just takes some time to adjust; not working has made me feel isolated as well.

up until now, I think part of me has believed that my new situation was only temporary, that I'd go back to the same-old same-old at guilford before too long. the novelty has worn off; the apartment has become more of a fact than a toy, and I've become steadily more aware of how much is going on in the world around me. emphasis on "around."

not that I'm unhappy, exactly. I couldn't be more pleased with my roommate, my home, and my friends. I'm just...numb, and upset with myself for not being more productive. that will change.

anyway, time to nudge my chin a little higher and keep on doin what I'm doin.

no beach yesterday; tia had to work really late so we've put it off til another time. fine by me. I was able to conserve some money, at least, which I've been trying to do. although I blew $10 today on the hipster handbook at barnes and noble. it's hilarious but also scary, really--I have hipster characteristics that I didn't even know were hipster characteristics. if you like a good chuckle at the expense of indie kids, give it a look-see. it's deck.

hope the rain has stopped for good. have planned a memorial day picnic for tomorrow for eight or so people to be held at battleground park. well, if it's nasty we can have it indoors.

heather has yet to be in touch, but I'll give her a day or two before I harass her. I sure would like to hear, though, whether I have a shot at the wrangler job. just to cover all my bases, I'm picking up an application tomorrow at--gulp--blockbuster. of course on tuesday I can call the wonderful folk at spherion to hear how dismal my situation is there. I'm starting to believe that temp work ain't for supporting yourself; it's for bored hausfraus who are sick of the junior league. hooray for bachelor's degrees.

now that I've checked, the skies are supposed to clear up tomorrow. maybe some sunshine will brighten my outlook a little. it could use a bit.