can't believe I'm awake and didn't even bother to drive into the surrounding countryside to check out mars.

I drove a little aimlessly on my way home tonight, across 311 through downtown high point and on through jamestown. it didn't even occur to me until I was almost there that I was very near the u.s. 29 underpass...home of lydia. for those of you unfamiliar with the legend, it's said that the underpass (or rather, the ruins of the old nearby underpass) is haunted by the ghost of a girl killed there in 1926. many men have claimed to have stopped for a well dressed hitchhiking girl there and dropped her off in town, only to see her disappear. supposedly lydia only appears to men driving alone at night. I wasn't in quite the right area...but it's not too awfully out of my way, is it? morbid curiosity...

catherine and michelle are threatening to fix me up on dates with their various hommasexshul friends. I don't know what to think about that. all joking aside, it's not like being single is miserable. who would want to date me with my schedule anyway?

I really need to start dieting. but here's how my diet logic works:

1) buy groceries.
2) when 50% of groceries are gone, look at remainder and say, "damn. I need to stop eating crap. I'm going on a diet! but I won't waste food; I'll finish what's in the cabinets first."
3) cabinets emptied. by this time, motivation to start diet is gone. "fuck it," I think resignedly.
4) return to step 1.

I should at least use my exercise bike for something other than a coat rack.

I should also attempt to curb my sleeping--9 and 10 hours a day is a bit excessive. I'm not sick or depressed to my knowledge, just perpetually tired. and sleeping so much leaves me time for absolutely nothing but work. I don't even have a spare few minutes to waste at tate street anymore.

well, I need to stop all this kvetching. it's officially wednesday--payday eve, a holiday celebrated with much mirth at o.d. viva los paychecks!

all familial visits this weekend went well. josh's 'rents came up yesterday with his friend patrick and took the lot of us (brynn was here, natch) out to harper's. my own came down today with gran and I took us all to sapporo. felt nice to actually buy my parents dinner instead of the other way round. today was extra-special-super nice cuz I went to bb's and bought all the real girls (overpriced at $22) AND a used dvd copy of cecil b demented (steal at $8).

tonight was the first official wqfs meeting as well. for those of you unaware, the princeton review has ranked our little college radio station #4 in america. damn. that rules. anyway, being on campus now is very peculiar. sort of like...well, starting a new year at guilford when I'm not supposed to be. not bad, necessarily, just...naughty somehow. I can't explain it well. eh.

it has come to my attention of late that I need to decide just what the hell I'm doing. I've always had some aim or goal, even if it wasn't one that entered my conscious thought that often. graduating high school, graduating college, both of those done. my goal since may has been to prove to myself/everyone else that I can be self supporting. aside from my car payment (admittedly my major upkeep expense), I'm doing a fair job of that and will hopefully continue to do so. so point proven. now what? film school? law school? clown college? what? my mind is stagnating with lack of purpose. it's not that I need to move forward right away. I just need to know where I'm going when I do move. new project: evaluating options. anticipated completion date: soon, I hope.

as much a part of that decision as my schooling will be where I relocate to and with whom. if only ali, tiffany, and I could all take off for the same metro area. oh, and beckajamesheathergabejosh should also go. anyway, I haven't dropped the idear of just going down the road to winston to n.c.s.a. and keeping my job at o.d. for a bit. only their film school program is strictly tracked. read: probably wouldn't even get my 2nd bachelor's til I turn 25-26. but I saw an ad for a reasonably priced, renovated historic apartment on fourth street near the stevens center yesterday...just what I'd want. so even if I stay in nc, I can still be an art fop. that's a comfort.

enough aimless groping. I'm going to be "one of those people" tonight and hang out with folks on campus. well, as long as I don't start keeping a toothbrush there.