before I say anything more, believe it or not I've updated petrified fountain with reviews of harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban (a new not-so-much) and delicatessen (an old favorite).

so about this time I should be full of wild stories about the caffeinated days, the flannel clad nights, and the rainy afternoons of seattle. well, I ain't. being as how I was feeling kinda homesick and just not feeling the crosscountry trip thing, I decided to just head back to dubya-vee-ay for a couple days instead. I went ahead and took my two vacation days last week, though, and thoroughly enjoyed spending some time lounging around 4109 and resting my fingers.

"but jeremy, how will you know if you want to move to seattle if you didn't go?"

which brings me to the big reason I didn't go. that's easy...I'm not moving. my reasons are multiple:

1) money. I currently can't afford to shell out the $3k dollars it would take to move bag and baggage to the west coast, and I certainly wouldn't have the money it would take to keep me going until I got settled into a new apartment/job/etcetera.

2) sanity. something that I momentarily lost when I considered giving up my cushy, pleasant, $36k a year job to sink over $14k into film school when I've barely touched a camera. I might hate making movies. I might despise it. and I want to rearrange my entire life to devote a year to doing it, a year that would be a waste of time and money if I ended up being miserable and/or no good? riiiight.

3) familiarity. I'll be the first to admit it. I'm in a rut. I'm in the freakin grand canyon. but it's a nice enough rut to stay in just a little longer, and there's something to be said for a predictable life. and when you're in a rut, it's safer to ease out slowly--not blast yourself out like a torpedo.

4) family. at the risk of sounding like a pansy (can't have that), being 3000 miles away from my loved ones would be as hard for me as for them.

5) opportunity. picking up stakes and starting fresh would give me the chance to start an entirely new life. but staying put gives me the chance to improve the one I've got. I'm currently without any loose ends, so I can focus my energies on things like losing weight, being more organized, socializing more, getting involved in the community. all things I've been wanting to do...and things I've been neglecting in light of the impending move.

I'm not going to be doing data entry ten years from now. too depressing. but one year...that doesn't sound so awful. just one more year to think and plan and scheme. I can't let myself take much more. otherwise I'll only be a little better than the kids from high school who stayed in bluefield and are currently employed at the d.q. and similar establishments, the kids I've always felt sorry for. the ones who are just too scared to live. I'm not scared. I just want to make sure the pool's filled with water before I dive in.

I graduated from guilford a year ago now, and a year is ample time to have made up my mind. but in grand tradition, I haven't used my time wisely. meanwhile, I've become much more comfortable than I'd anticipated. so I've just got to keep on truckin (wow, given my occupation I should add "no pun intended" there) for a while until I know what I want. not what I guess I want.

I've got more to say, but I'm running out of energy for the evening. this has been jeremy, live from the real world. until next time!