y'know, MILF is a fun acronym to throw around. but the ripoff, DILF, just lacks dignity somehow. I wish that someone would come up with something else, but the best I can do is Dad I'd Like to DO. DILDO. that's just no good.

that said, I think that MILFs and DILFs differ in more ways that just sex. MILF can be applied to pretty much any attractive woman who is in her mid-thirties or older. but in my opinion, DILFs are different. the same age requirement applies, but by my definition a DILF isn't a guy that I would necessarily consider conventionally "hot."

in establishing whether a man fits the mold, I picture myself at 13 or 14 being invited to a sleepover at a friend's house. guy in question is friend's dad, and as such exudes a fatherly air of maturity and protectiveness rather than the raw sexuality of, say, an a & f model. a boy-next-door turned suburban commuter. of course I'm going to this friend's house because I enjoy his/her company...but there's also the chance of seeing his/her dad walk around the house shirtless. if I can imagine the guy in that scenario, he's a good candidate for DILF-hood. and there really aren't all that many.

some of my celebrity DILFs (go ahead and laugh; I already know my taste is weird):

jason bateman (easily #1)
tim robbins (fading fast, but still got it for now)
brian krause (of charmed fame)
scott bakula (a timeless classic, in my opinion)
kevin spacey (the dimples give him an edge)
julian mcmahon (um...actually I think he's #1. sorry jason)
mike nelson (shut up, he is SO)
adam baldwin (without the lame facial hair he's cultivated of late)

john cusack and alec baldwin were both close, but they've started to look a little too old and a lot too chunky, respectively.

do let me know who should be granted the coveted DILF status in your opinions.

and if anyone knows why I devote my precious time to silly posts like this, let me know about that as well.

like the harry potter series, I put it off as long as possible. but in a similar fashion, I'm ashamed to say that I finally got sucked in.

the da vinci code. quick snickering and just read the damned thing. seriously.

this weekend I must see the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe. I'm sure that most of y'all are aware of my narnia obsession. as such, this weekend will either rule beyond comparison or suck most righteously, depending on how much justice is done to the book. furthermore, I know I risk the wrath of at least 50% of other narnian fanatics by saying this, but I truly believe that the magician's nephew should have been made first. this website offers a number of theories on the matter of reading order that I hadn't considered.

ocelots are from africa. so why is has one been spotted running around fisher park? that's just weird.

on a completely unrelated note: after existing for about two years now, my street can finally be located on mapquest. huzzah! my house exists after all!

the wedding was very pretty. and you gotta love a reception that offers both italian food and unlimited wine.

speaking of beverages, ginger ale is a very underrated one. if you're reading this and like it at all, go buy some.

message for the g.p.d.: stop hanging around outside central library! when I have books to return it's so much easier to park in the bus loading zone with my flashers on and run them inside (audio books can't be returned outside at that branch, why I dunno), but I'm not going to try that with cops around. so I have to find a space in the parking deck, turning a 60 second task into 4-5 minutes. that's just not okay. I'm fine with enforcing laws and all that bushwah, but not at the expense of my personal conveniences.

happy thanksgiving, all. posting live from the mountains of wv, where everyone is still basking in yesterday's festivities. got up at the crack of dawn (10 a.m., which IS the crack of dawn if you have to work until 5:00) and drove to justin's family in mount airy for lunch, then here for dinner.

my sister is getting married in about an hour and a half. I love having an excuse to wear a suit, but I'm glad it's not a daily necessity. of course laura's in town for the event with HER new fiance, travis, whom everyone likes very much. all these people getting married! it's enough to make you want to barf, really.

I promised myself I wouldn't mention the new harry potter film until I put together a full post about it, but I'll go ahead and say that it is great. and I do plan to do a full review for the first time in a year--I'll try and get to that within a few days. sunday justin and I are taking rachel to the imax theater in raleigh to see it on the big (read: five story) screen. that should be pretty amazing.

time to start getting ready for the big event! let's just hope I can still fit into my suit. hmm, maybe I should have checked on that before...

y'know, I'm actually feeling ready for Christmas this year. not that I've gotten all my shopping done--not even close--I just don't feel that the preparations have started too soon. however, that said, I do NOT think that radio stations should play holiday music literally around the clock. I'm a notorious station surfer; my drive to work is a constant cycle between five frequencies. switch over to all Christmas/all the time and you diminish my available stations by one. hear that, preset button number three? cut it out already!

I dreamed last night that I was a character in a television drama about college life. nostalgia much?

naturally I'm going to see the new harry potter flick this weekend. I'm trying to go into it without too many preconceived notions. still, after number three I'm wary.

work news: the head of my department left the other night. no notice, nothin. just out the door she went during the middle of the work "day." quite dramatic. we're all sad to see her go. apparently some tension with upper management just escalated a bit too far. being in the trenches I wouldn't really know, m'self.

thirrrrrrrsty. must go drink gallon of tea or like substance.

lame quiz results time!


You're Fred!


Which Angel character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are Toonces!


Which SNL Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Stewie


Which Family Guy Character Are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I would never want to be known as an alcoholic, but being referred to as a "dipsomaniac" would be pretty sweet. so many beautiful words fallen into disuse!

Christmas is coming up, folks. shortly after that, the birthday arriveth. need gift ideas? here's all you need, the oft updated wish list. go buy me stuff. after all, I've only got two birthday's left for a while. like I've always said, I'm stopping at 26. 27 just sounds too close to 30, so I'm going to be 26 until I'm at least 38, at which time I'll actually turn 38 and stay there until I'm 50. after that I'll just wing it. the way I see it, as long as I stay away from sun and cigs and moisturize religiously, I've got the bone structure to grow ancient quite gracefully. if I have to dip into the grecian formula, so be it. but I refuse to go bald. eh, why worry? often hair loss is caused by an excess of testosterone. let's see..."jeremy has an excess of tes...t..test..." I can't even finish typing it without giggling.

speaking of appearance, I've been on the diet train and have lost roughly ten pounds. five more and I treat myself to a new outfit. ten after that, I kill myself because life will never get any better. actually I'll probably just put all back on and them some when I scream, "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE," fill an IV drip with olive oil, and spike myself the hell up while chowing down on loaves of french bread and wheels of mozzarella.

remember when I wanted to be a filmmaker?

thanks to shana's lj for clueing me in to this amusing website.

I smell sex and candy here.

who's that lounging in my chair?

who's that casting devious stares in my direction?

mama, this surely is a dream.

I think the best possible song for a quote-unquote indie pop band to cover would be "wichita lineman." are you reading this, ben? just because death cab signed to a major label doesn't mean you can't still have some fun.

having just reviewed the previous paragraph, I find my use of quote-unquote quite humorous. I bet it'll annoy all kinds of people, too. expect to see it again.

speaking of songs, even though it wasn't intended as such, fire island should adopt "twistin the night away" as its theme. think about it: new york, people who "are so gay," queens? it seems obvious enough to me.

I'm the last healthy person in the nor'easter; everyone is currently or has been very flulike. wish me luck staving it off.

I have a great american respect for baseball, but I'm getting pretty tired of evvvvvvverything on fox getting pushed aside for it.

anyone who lives in, has ever lived in, or has ever heard of the triad should read this.

james bond should NOT be blond. I feel very strongly about this.

worst radio edit of a song ever: "walk on the wild side." I understand the necessity for a bleep or two, but one entire verse gets cut out and the other verses are strung together. the choruses are cut, but then one chorus gets tacked onto the end. jeez, why bother to even play it?

all things considered, I have a wonderful life. my job isn't exactly what I want to be doing, but I'm lucky to have it. I have fabulous friends, a spiffy house, and the greatest guy ever to share it all with. in the grand scheme of things, this is the happiest I've ever been.

maybe it's this happiness that has made me feel so overcome with guilt about things I've done before. mistakes that I've made in relationships years past keep surfacing in my mind like corpses. several times before men--beautiful, intelligent, caring men--have hung their hopes on me, planned the rest of their lives around a relationship with yours truly. obviously I'm glad that those relationships didn't pan out, but each time I've been the one to smash their dreams. I could never do that to justin, nor would I ever want to. and I'm older and hopefully wiser now. but that doesn't stop me lying awake and thinking of the promises that I've made and broken.

a lot of it comes down to this memory that's on a continuous loop in my mind lately. I'm in the apartment of...well, let's call him fred. I'm in fred's basement apartment waiting for him to come home from work. fred loves me, and I love fred. we've been together exclusively for several months and have already spoken of a lifetime commitment. I'm sitting on the sofa when I see his car pull in. he gets out and runs down the stairs. he runs. just because I'm there.

I broke it off with him four months later, in a cowardly and juvenile fashion. but even if I'd done it diplomatically I'd be bothered. we were supposed to be the rest of each other's lives. but I think that part of me knew all the time that it wasn't right. I guess that's what really gets to me in each of these past romances. part of me knew, but I kept smiling and nodding. sure, my relationships tend to move fast, often before I realize what I'm getting into. and in each case I really did believe--for a while--that "it" COULD work. but none of these justifications can undo what I did.

maybe it just speaks to the depth of my feelings for justin that I feel this way. if anything happened to us I'd be destroyed. in addition to the "relationship survivor's guilt" of late, I've started developing disturbing takes on other issues. the remarriage of a widow/widower, for instance. if someone completely gives him/herself over to someone else who dies, how could he/she dare to make a similar commitment to another person? if the spouse was truly loved in the first place, how can the survivor even entertain the notion of picking up the pieces and moving on with someone new? call me radical, but I just couldn't.

sorry to ramble so much. but I wouldn't be awake at 6:00 on a sunday morning if I hadn't been preoccupied all night. well, maybe I can get some rest now.

the first thousand words update in a while: six shiny tate street festival pictures. wish I'd taken more, but there it is.

I'm going to try and revive the lost art of letter writing. not e-mails, not postcards, but letters. thanks to electronic communication and such, people are forgetting how to properly structure correspondence. ten years from now people probably won't be able to indent a paragraph or align a salutation to save their lives. not me, uh uh. I respect grammar too much. so I'm going to order some good quality personalized stationery and get a wax seal made with my scottish family crest on it to make em look swank. if you find this pretentious, well...yes, I agree. but it's a great idea, no? so many of y'all can expect requests for snail mail addresses from me soon, hopefully.

it's sad that so many regional department store chains are being sucked under, but I can't help being excited that the big unnecessary hecht's on bridford parkway will soon be the big unnecessary macy's.

had a swell time at the tate street festival today with carra, julie, emily, ashley, and a host of guilford characters that have made only an occasional guest appearance for the last couple of seasons. I really do need to work on infusing some new--or old--blood into the series before my life gets cancelled. I don't even want to THINK about how many millions of households aren't watching me these days.

it's official. villarosa = best marinara sauce ever. next time I go I should just ask them to fill up one of the tea pitchers with it so I can pour it over everything liberally. well, maybe not the tiramisu.

so much good stuff in the news! click on these:

sweet!
woo hoo!
bitchin!

also, I found these amusing:

Wedding Etiquette

A couple of things you should know before a Vermont same-sex wedding.....

1) On the day of a gay wedding, it's bad luck for the two grooms to see each other at the gym.

2) Superstition suggests that for good luck the couple should have: Something bold, something fierce, Something trashy, something dirty.

3) It's customary at gay and lesbian nuptials for the parents to have an open bar during the ceremony.

4) Gay wedding tradition dictates that both grooms refrain from eating wedding cake because it's all carbs.

5) It's considered bad luck for either of the grooms to have dated the priest.

6) During the first dance, it's considered unlucky to use glow sticks, flags, whistles or handheld lasers.

7) For good luck at the union of a drag queen, the bouquet is always thrown in the face of a hated rival drag queen.

8) A local saying from colonial Northampton: A lesbian who owns a horse will never tell a lie, But a lesbian who votes Republican will leave you for a guy.

9) The wedding singer is not allowed to play/sing Let's hear it for the boy, YMCA or I will Survive.

10) The father of the Bottom pays for everything!

wouldn't it be nice if you could take a leave of absence from your life?

but I suppose, like taking a leave from work, there's the danger that you won't want to go back.

sorry. not in the best of moods lately, I guess.