back with more soon, but for now just one REALLY important announcement:

after nearly twenty four years of periodic exposure, I've concluded that "harper valley p.t.a." (the original jeannie c. riley version) is the greatest song ever. feel free to argue against that, but I should go ahead and tell you that you'll be wrong.

one more thing and then I'm REALLY going to bed.

a dear friend and I were discussing honorary doctorates the other day.

this just in: yahoo serious has one.

I've been waiting my entire adult life for more people to agree with this:

You scored as The all-round cute gay guy. YOu are a cute guy who many would die to be with..........lucky!! Straight Acting 90% The all-round cute gay guy 90% A Big Bear 70% Raging Queer 30% Straight Queer Basher 30% Straight 10% S + M guy 0% What type of Gay are YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

a few things about altitude:
I'd love to slide down a fire pole someday.
little known fact: I'm afraid of heights indoors (i.e. looking down from the third story in four seasons town center) but generally not outoors.
for some odd reason, I think it's kinda sexy when people in movies/tv shows scale chain link fences.

a promise to loyal (and disloyal) readers: petrified fountain will unfreeze later this week. expect a full review of brokeback mountain, which I saw earlier this evening. will post a link when it's complete.

justin is the greatest guy in the world. I just needed to get that out there, once again.

a phrase that I dislike: "I've never seen that person before in my life." oh, please. you do not know that. unless you yourself are a shut in, or unless the "person" in question resembles the elephant man. there's always a chance that any random human being you see in public may have crossed into your field of vision before.

I've become unhealthily obsessed with my bread machine--a Christmas present from rhonda (justin's mom). never again will there not be a fresh loaf in the nor'easter.

another appliance acquisition: a philips senseo one cup coffeemaker. wow, what a boon to humanity. I love it dearly.

I've been waiting almost two years for this to happen again.

I wrote a complete 5000 word short story tonight. just me at the keys for almost five hours, never stopping for more than a few seconds. and it felt fucking fantastic. the merits of the story are debatable, but the experience of writing for hours on end is such an amazing rush, one that I wish that I could have more often. I crave it like a drug.

and I'm spent.

I am so sick of societally constructed notions of what is and isn't sexy.

I love it when I get to the end of a book (or open it at the beginning) and find a section detailing what font the text is in. one that I was reading recently was actually more of a glowing review, saying, "goudy himself described this font as..." love that.

new year's resolutions that I won't keep:

lose 10+ lbs
exercise at least 2-3 times per week
take better care of teeth
save at least $50 per week
pay more on credit cards
start christmas shopping before t-giving and finish by weekend before
dress like I actually give a crap
don't see hitch (there's really no danger of that happening, but I want it publicly known)

wow. just when you think you're wise to the ways of the world, you find out that brothels have websites (careful--they's boobs on this website, tee hee. be sure to check out "the menu!).

sorry. when I'm in wv the urge to waste time can get a little out of hand.

by the way, I uploaded a few more pictures of willow. these are more recent. sorry the banister ones are a bit blurry, but it's hard to get a cat to stay still for a camera at times.

have you ever turned on the t.v. thinking "there's nothing good on," yet somehow the best thing that could POSSIBLY be on is? it's one of the greatest feelings ever.

thanks, amc, for showing desk set this morning. even though I own it on dvd and have probably watched it 20+ times, somehow it was just perfect today. everyone who likes romantic comedies should see it. everyone who doesn't like romantic comedies should see it. if you think that the phrase "mexican avenue bus" is amusing, you should see it. in short, if for some unearthly reason you haven't, see desk set.

next post will probably be post-Christmas. that said, happy holidays everyone!!!

you know, it's awful to say, but sometimes crazy people are just funny.

I've decided that I don't like stomach tattoos--not of anything, not on anyone. it smacks of white trash to me. or, I suppose, "black trash" as the case may be.

I hate it when rings (the kind worn on one's finger) get water behind them and make funny noises.

I worry way too much about finding glass in my food. it's not normal. it probably stems from an early childhood incident of staple-in-the-hot-fudge-cake at shoney's. no, seriously, it happened.

speaking of food, ever added smoked salmon to alfredo sauce? it's gooood.

the last few days have been emotionally polar ones. a friend of mine is moving to alaska, which is a sad thing indeed. no one that I could label "a good friend," but someone that I truly wish I'd spent more time with. and he's moving to alaska. a bold move by any standards, one that makes me think about all the chances I haven't taken. studying law out west. studying film up north. all the adventures I passed up on. even thinking back on my life a few years ago--going to shows, partying on weekends (or during the week), learning...anything. I used to be alive, dammit!

not that I have anything to legitimately complain about. I don't regret any of the choices I've made, because they've provided a means to the fulfilled, comfortable life that I lead now. I guess what I'm wondering is...is this it? am I done? an actualized life at the ripe old age of twenty-four? no more adventures, no more prospects? I just don't know if I'm ready to accept that.

there's this mental image that always pops up when I ask myself, "who do you wish you were?" I see myself in greenwich village, union square I think. it's a fall day, cool and breezy (of course it's usually breezy in manhattan). I'm wearing a tweed jacket over a sweater and jeans. I'm holding a 35 mm movie camera. I look up, I smile, and I revel in all the life around me, wanting to take it all in, to capture it.

this from the guy who is too lackadaisical to even take up cinematography as a hobby.

on a completely different note, is it too much to ask that a supermarket carry peanut butter cookies? harris teeter at friendly center doesn't, unless they're well hidden. no major brands, none in the deli, no bake your own (except ones that have reese's pieces). grr.

well, it's turning out to be the best weekend ever. all my doubts about the lion, the witch and the wardrobe were laid to rest. it's an amazing film--beautifully shot, superbly acted, and astoundly true to the book. and I have a reallllllly big celebrity crush on william moseley (peter), the marvelously lame sort of crush that is usually peculiar to 13-15 year old girls. in fact, since I never inline images anymore and should get back in the habit:











I mean, come on!

how can you not find that adorable?














speaking of habits, my talk here has been unhealthily guy focused of late. I should really mention ladies more...so how bout that miss hathaway? pretty bodacious, huh?

trip to winston tomorrow to complete (???) Christmas shopping. money's not my main holiday obstacle this year--it's creativity, or lack thereof. you know what I like? when people I know just say, "get me _______." that is music to my ears. failure to have done so this year may just mean a gift card, people. and I'm also weary of this "oh, you don't have to get me anything" crap. OF COURSE I DON'T HAVE TO GET YOU ANYTHING! I could be a selfish bastard and spend all my money on myself, but I'm a damn nice person, dammit! if I had some idea of what to buy you, it would be bought and paid for! I'm asking for your help, here! HELP ME ALREADY!!!

aah, much better.

y'know, MILF is a fun acronym to throw around. but the ripoff, DILF, just lacks dignity somehow. I wish that someone would come up with something else, but the best I can do is Dad I'd Like to DO. DILDO. that's just no good.

that said, I think that MILFs and DILFs differ in more ways that just sex. MILF can be applied to pretty much any attractive woman who is in her mid-thirties or older. but in my opinion, DILFs are different. the same age requirement applies, but by my definition a DILF isn't a guy that I would necessarily consider conventionally "hot."

in establishing whether a man fits the mold, I picture myself at 13 or 14 being invited to a sleepover at a friend's house. guy in question is friend's dad, and as such exudes a fatherly air of maturity and protectiveness rather than the raw sexuality of, say, an a & f model. a boy-next-door turned suburban commuter. of course I'm going to this friend's house because I enjoy his/her company...but there's also the chance of seeing his/her dad walk around the house shirtless. if I can imagine the guy in that scenario, he's a good candidate for DILF-hood. and there really aren't all that many.

some of my celebrity DILFs (go ahead and laugh; I already know my taste is weird):

jason bateman (easily #1)
tim robbins (fading fast, but still got it for now)
brian krause (of charmed fame)
scott bakula (a timeless classic, in my opinion)
kevin spacey (the dimples give him an edge)
julian mcmahon (um...actually I think he's #1. sorry jason)
mike nelson (shut up, he is SO)
adam baldwin (without the lame facial hair he's cultivated of late)

john cusack and alec baldwin were both close, but they've started to look a little too old and a lot too chunky, respectively.

do let me know who should be granted the coveted DILF status in your opinions.

and if anyone knows why I devote my precious time to silly posts like this, let me know about that as well.

like the harry potter series, I put it off as long as possible. but in a similar fashion, I'm ashamed to say that I finally got sucked in.

the da vinci code. quick snickering and just read the damned thing. seriously.

this weekend I must see the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe. I'm sure that most of y'all are aware of my narnia obsession. as such, this weekend will either rule beyond comparison or suck most righteously, depending on how much justice is done to the book. furthermore, I know I risk the wrath of at least 50% of other narnian fanatics by saying this, but I truly believe that the magician's nephew should have been made first. this website offers a number of theories on the matter of reading order that I hadn't considered.

ocelots are from africa. so why is has one been spotted running around fisher park? that's just weird.

on a completely unrelated note: after existing for about two years now, my street can finally be located on mapquest. huzzah! my house exists after all!

the wedding was very pretty. and you gotta love a reception that offers both italian food and unlimited wine.

speaking of beverages, ginger ale is a very underrated one. if you're reading this and like it at all, go buy some.

message for the g.p.d.: stop hanging around outside central library! when I have books to return it's so much easier to park in the bus loading zone with my flashers on and run them inside (audio books can't be returned outside at that branch, why I dunno), but I'm not going to try that with cops around. so I have to find a space in the parking deck, turning a 60 second task into 4-5 minutes. that's just not okay. I'm fine with enforcing laws and all that bushwah, but not at the expense of my personal conveniences.

happy thanksgiving, all. posting live from the mountains of wv, where everyone is still basking in yesterday's festivities. got up at the crack of dawn (10 a.m., which IS the crack of dawn if you have to work until 5:00) and drove to justin's family in mount airy for lunch, then here for dinner.

my sister is getting married in about an hour and a half. I love having an excuse to wear a suit, but I'm glad it's not a daily necessity. of course laura's in town for the event with HER new fiance, travis, whom everyone likes very much. all these people getting married! it's enough to make you want to barf, really.

I promised myself I wouldn't mention the new harry potter film until I put together a full post about it, but I'll go ahead and say that it is great. and I do plan to do a full review for the first time in a year--I'll try and get to that within a few days. sunday justin and I are taking rachel to the imax theater in raleigh to see it on the big (read: five story) screen. that should be pretty amazing.

time to start getting ready for the big event! let's just hope I can still fit into my suit. hmm, maybe I should have checked on that before...

y'know, I'm actually feeling ready for Christmas this year. not that I've gotten all my shopping done--not even close--I just don't feel that the preparations have started too soon. however, that said, I do NOT think that radio stations should play holiday music literally around the clock. I'm a notorious station surfer; my drive to work is a constant cycle between five frequencies. switch over to all Christmas/all the time and you diminish my available stations by one. hear that, preset button number three? cut it out already!

I dreamed last night that I was a character in a television drama about college life. nostalgia much?

naturally I'm going to see the new harry potter flick this weekend. I'm trying to go into it without too many preconceived notions. still, after number three I'm wary.

work news: the head of my department left the other night. no notice, nothin. just out the door she went during the middle of the work "day." quite dramatic. we're all sad to see her go. apparently some tension with upper management just escalated a bit too far. being in the trenches I wouldn't really know, m'self.

thirrrrrrrsty. must go drink gallon of tea or like substance.

lame quiz results time!


You're Fred!


Which Angel character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are Toonces!


Which SNL Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Stewie


Which Family Guy Character Are you?
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I would never want to be known as an alcoholic, but being referred to as a "dipsomaniac" would be pretty sweet. so many beautiful words fallen into disuse!

Christmas is coming up, folks. shortly after that, the birthday arriveth. need gift ideas? here's all you need, the oft updated wish list. go buy me stuff. after all, I've only got two birthday's left for a while. like I've always said, I'm stopping at 26. 27 just sounds too close to 30, so I'm going to be 26 until I'm at least 38, at which time I'll actually turn 38 and stay there until I'm 50. after that I'll just wing it. the way I see it, as long as I stay away from sun and cigs and moisturize religiously, I've got the bone structure to grow ancient quite gracefully. if I have to dip into the grecian formula, so be it. but I refuse to go bald. eh, why worry? often hair loss is caused by an excess of testosterone. let's see..."jeremy has an excess of tes...t..test..." I can't even finish typing it without giggling.

speaking of appearance, I've been on the diet train and have lost roughly ten pounds. five more and I treat myself to a new outfit. ten after that, I kill myself because life will never get any better. actually I'll probably just put all back on and them some when I scream, "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE," fill an IV drip with olive oil, and spike myself the hell up while chowing down on loaves of french bread and wheels of mozzarella.