over the past few days, some big changes have taken place in my life as a whole. first off, I've decided not to go to grad school right away. after going to school two summers out of three plus all the regular semesters, the 'rents and I agree that I need a little break. the plan for now is to stick around GSO and split a place with J, working whatever job I can find that's semi-decent. or not so decent, depending on what I luck into. it's a scary thought, I know, but it's something I feel I need to do. next year I can apply to the schools I'm interested in; I think that a year or so of living in the real world will be enough to convince me that I need to do some more time in the educational system...we shall see.

second, my "situation" has developed into a full blown...drum roll please..."boyfriend." he's wonderful. he's witty/cute/smart/devoted, everything I could want (within reason; I didn't really expect a Scottish accent). but I still haven't let my walls down, and don't know when I will. it's like I said...too many funky Big Macs...you know. I already care for him so much it's scary, and I really think he feels the same. and if I somehow get dicked over this time, I think it'll be the worst fall ever. I know I should relax and enjoy our relationship for the fabulous, amazing thing that it is, but it's not easy. God willing, the wonder of these past few days will last for a long time to come.

tomorrow...well, today...I leave for home, finally. paper's not quite done, so I'll have to e-mail it from home. I'm so irresponsible. I've just been so distracted, as everyone pretty much has. I'll be glad to get home, but sad to be away from my crew and the individual discussed in the preceding paragraph. at least T will be in town; bout damn time!

random thought: John Waters is the most lovable sicko in the whole world. we were totally diggin on Pink Flamingos last night, heh.

time to hit the hay. alone tonight and for the next month. sigh.