top 10 things I learned this Christmas:

10) some people put beringer's white zinfandel in spaghetti sauce. um...
9) ball family gatherings are much less interesting when no one over 40 mentions chaka khan. it should be a requirement.
8) love's beef jerky is more addictive than cocaine.
7) pay no attention to the australian guy in the commercial. hoover floormates do not work, and you can get a really nice mop for that kind of money.
6) one sliced ham is not like another.
5) apparently bristol, virginia is totally crunk.
4) I can sleep for 18 hours at a stretch.
3) macado's currently offers a special holiday drink the exact same shade of pink as a victoria's secret bag.
2) medical students find the amputated breasts of cadavers rather boring.
1) messy apartments don't wish their tenants a merry Christmas by cleaning themselves up. it was all a hoax, dammit.