I've compiled a list of the funniest things my friends have ever said (at least, the ones I can think of right now). taken out of context makes some even funnier. at the risk of pissing people off, they are ranked--with #1 being my favorite.

20. where is chair? I come from russia to see chair!
19. don’t test me; I’m unmedicated.
18. what goes on in there? HEY!
17. heh…paleface.
16. I knew a girl named rutago. she was a spice.
15. hey naked lady!
14. God bless the prostitutes.
13. when they put their heads under the water. that’s when you get ‘em.
12. I’ve been dead for three years!
11. I can handle this high performance vehicle.
10. isn’t there something about roseanne roseanna danna that’s “comin for to carry you home?”
9. caffeine suppositories? I’ll bet those really get your ass goin.
8. bread man won’t be here ‘til tuesday.
7. please. you’re paying more money for less doors. what’s the point in that?
6. josh one, autoharps zero.
5. they stand on their own.
4. that tree’s diseased.
3. well, the native americans are an ancient people.
2. he’s gone mental on account of the witch skin!
1. I don’t have any Indian food, but I can give you a toasted waffle and a picture of jude law.

hanging with heather (both heathers, actually) was a blast. saw the station agent again; was even better the second time. cute waiter at harper's, as well.

since it was sunday, tonight was girly spa night. I'm thoroughly scrubbed, exfoliated, moisturized. and ready for bed.