I'm going to learn to ski this winter. I grew up about 30 minutes from some decent ski country--several kids at my high school did ski patrol for wintertime spending money--and I think it's time. I'm not all that interested in skiing, honestly. it's just that I stumbled across some pictures of whistler, british columbia and I think it's the most beautiful place I've ever seen. one day I must go, and to enjoy it fully I feel that I must ski. and I love winter so much. I'd love to see at least a little snow this year.

nick lachey needs to stop looking so damn tortured all the time. quite frankly, he just doesn't seem intelligent enough to ruminate. give him a copy of the bell jar and some black nail polish and he could be any gothic/melodramatic high school girl in america. with better abs.

are the postal service ever going to release a second album? for fuck's sake.

I'm supposed to be at dragon*con right now. I'm not. long story. made short, I felt like death warmed over on saturday morning and the idea of staying up to drive six hours made me want to drink drano.

tomorrow marks two years with justin. hopefully at least 90 more to go.

lmn has been crankin out the fabulous early 90s tv movies this weekend. between them and tcm, who needs pay channels? my hard drive is full of b-movie goodness--time to break out that spindle of taiyo yuden dvds.

thanks to my pal at bhendrix.com for introducing me to the stumbleupon plugin. and thanks to stumbleupon for showing me the greatest internet timewaster I've seen in...maybe ever. I offer no explanation, just instructions: click and drag stuff.

I'm not as far left politically as a lot of people, but I'm cheering with the liberals at the news of plan b being made available over the counter. of course, that's not so much a political issue as common sense, in my opinion. which means that I'm probably more left leaning than I think.

I have to stop trying to make my life more interesting by buying things. it only works for about twenty-four hours per purchase. also, I'm running out of cool stuff that I want to buy. although I am squirreling away money for a new set of wheels. I adore 'phelia, but at close to 100k miles I worry that she's getting a little tired. I want a honda fit, but they're so in demand that if I can get a hold of one I'll probably be offered a lousy deal on my trade in. well, it's a moot point until at least october. and I'll probably chicken out--I love my miata too much.

I admire this year's primetime emmys for keeping the program on schedule, but shit! they had the winners on a freakin conveyor belt! I'm surprised they didn't just chuck the awards into the audience. entertaining, though, even if a certain ex of mine swaggered away with best supporting actor in a comedy. well, his acceptance speech was short and finished quickly, which I've come to expect from him. I'd threaten to jam that statuette where the sun don't shine, but any day now I'm sure I'll get a drunken phone call begging me to do just that--in a scenario probably also involving candle wax and duct tape. sigh...maybe I do still care about him.

[legal disclaimer: I don't know jeremy piven. to the best of my knowledge, he isn't any guy's ex or current boyfriend. my referring to him as such is a running inside joke stemming from my long-term love-hate relationship with his celebrity persona, which has been chronicled in previous posts. so there.]

catching them on a rerun of "pee wee's playhouse" reminded me just how fabulous the del rubio triplets are. I speak of both their legs and their music. their sole in-print cd (an anthology, thankfully) is on its way to me from amazon. that way I can stop continuously streaming "walk like an egyptian" from their myspace.

I've also rekindled my love for robert altman. short cuts is absolutely one of the most brilliant films ever, and a wedding may just be my new (old) favorite comedy.

I make no secret of my love for all things narnia. but having read the chronicles approximately fifty times each (maybe thirty for the last battle; I just don't care for it much), I've realized that there's one thing that c.s. lewis's editor should not have stood for. it is made very clear that talking beasts and people are on the same plain of respectability. so the author should NOT have alternated pronouns between "he/she" and "it" when referring to them. it seems completely random.

I hate not getting home from work until morning radio shows are on the air. besides meaning that it's been a friggin long night, I hate any and all morning radio shows. who the hell wants to wake up to a bunch of idiots sniggering at their own dumb jokes and dumber sound bytes, anyway?

so my parents gave me the old phone from my bedroom at home to use in our study. although not a dial phone, it's fashioned to look like one and sure as hell sounds like one. makes me jump three feet when it rings. the reason I find it so funny is that it sounds uncannily like the phone that the martians investigate in the old "sesame street" episode. to bring back memories, click here. to see the hilarious "drawn together" send-up of it, click here as well. thank heavens for youtube.

a new baby! nadine has assumed custody of ye olde ipod mini and I'm now the proud owner of a toshiba gigabeat. he's so cool. now I can be even dorkier than before, using my pc to record "the closer" AND taking the episodes wherever I go.

speaking of pc, if all the muscles in my body were as developed as my pc muscles, I'd look like arnold schwarzenegger in conan the barbarian.

if you don't already know, don't look up "pc muscles" unless you really don't mind knowing an awful lot about me.

I've had an enjoyable random few days off from work. odfl doesn't let us carry vacation days over, and I only have until september 29th (the anniversary of my hire date) to use this year's up. so I took justin and went to visit my folks. they're talking more seriously about selling both their houses and moving down here. it would be sad, sure--I mean, I lived in one house for eighteen years and some change--but I place a higher priority on having them live closer to me.

new wal-mart opened today! that's more exciting than it sounds, since it means that we will only be driving five minutes to shop there instead of 20-30. I know vol-de-mart is the devil's playground and all, but dammit! the devil sells cheap stuff!

gotta rest up so I can be fresh for getting back to the grind tomorrow. for a whole two straight days, anyway.

ho-lee shit. greensboro's actually starting to add bike lanes to the streets.
never thought I'd see the day.

I've rediscovered my love of fluffernutter sandwiches. jeez, I live on sugar. it's pathetic.

I'm so sick of the summer heat. it's been the hottest season I can ever remember. I wish I could kid myself into thinking that there'll be a nice cold winter this year, but I doubt it. with fuel costs it's just as well, I guess. but I truly believe that I'm a canadian at heart, and that includes a predisposition for cooler temperatures.

after years of hearing about clues to paul mccartney's "death" in the song "revolution number nine," I finally got around to playing it backwards.

don't. I'm sure a lot of it is because I knew what to listen for, but it's the most horrific thing I've ever heard. the nightmares started the same night, and I'm just hoping they're gone for good.

of course I believe in spirits and phantoms, anyway. I saw...something once. when I was in high school I was out driving in a rural area near home by myself. as I approached a set of railroad tracks I noticed that the signals were green. ergo a train was coming, and I got ready to stop. oddly, there was no train. just as I crossed the tracks, I slammed on the brake in surprise. standing just next to the crossing, I had seen the shadow of a man in a baseball cap. checking the rearview, he was gone. there was nothing that he could have darted behind, no cover at all. and the railroad signals were back to red, as they should have been.

I declare this meeting of the midnight society closed.

I guess I'm expected to comment on the lance bass situation. so: good for him. I'd like to believe that his honesty will lead to a wider acceptance of homosexuality in young, attractive celebrity males. I'd also like to believe that I'm going to write dozens of expertly crafted childrens' books that will outsell the harry potter series. then I take a minute for a reality check.

by the way, I wonder how many people know that childrens' book author is my dream job? well, I guess now a few more do. I'm thinking less j.k. rowling and more louis sachar, though. maybe someday.

speaking of celebs, I had the most wonderful/horrible dream last night. sean astin asked me to marry him. the good news? in the dream he was gay (and unmarried). the bad? I had to explain the situation to justin, also very much a presence in said dream. as previously stated, I DO believe that justin is "the one." but come on! sean astin? he's my ultimate cuddle buddy.

by the way, if anyone dares to even THINK of calling sean fat after reading this, I will find you. and you will be punished.

I still hope that justin and I will be married someday. even though it was initially scheduled for this fall, I guess even a commitment ceremony is out at this stage of the game. well, time will tell. I hope.

(author's note: current mood is insecure. no special reason, just natural default state of mind.)

more celeb-related things: dragon*con membership passes have arrived! one step closer to The Barbeau...and nicholas brendon. I just hope I can control myself in his presence. oh xander, thou art my fantasy boy next door...

first dinner at a p.f. chang's tonight. mmm. I'm more excited, though, about the impending opening of mimi's cafe. I didn't know eggs could even be used for all that. so many fun new places in gso. sometimes urban sprawl is all right with me.

I was all ready to pissed off at josh h. for discontinuing his blog. turns out I just had to tweak my link a little. so it works now, for those of you bold enough to humble yourselves in his electronic presence.

I must attempt to get some sleep. group field trip to the zoo tomorrow, and I want to be alert in case any children fall into the lions' habitat. not to rescue them, of course--I just want to be quick with the camera.

it has been brought to my attention that north carolina is an ideal environment for growing certain types of truffles. there are several truffle orchards (the only way to cultivate them is to plant trees that they like to grow around, usually filberts) here, the most productive near hillsborough. those little suckers fetch upwards of $1k per pound.

that is so cool.

parents visited today. used books at mckay's and mongolian goodness at crazy fire. I love doing things like that with the 'rents--the stuff that justin and I do all the time which they can't do at home. it makes me feel like a good host.

myspace has been up and down all weekend. I don't know which is funnier, how many thousands of people are pissed off about that or the fact that I'm one of them.

currently reading wicked. not what I expected, and I mean that in a good way. will write more about it when done.

fellow sufferers of tmj disorders, I've found a therapy that is very helpful. whichever side of your jaw is giving you heck, use your thumb to massage the hard muscles inside that side of your mouth just by your back upper teeth while holding your index finger against your cheek on the other side. it ain't no cure, but it keeps the old jaw pretty pop-free for several minutes and lessens the severity of the prob for quite a while.

this is by far one of my favorites from ytmnd.com.

I remember when the struggle for gay rights made me sad. I remember when it made me angry. both of those reactions are better than what I feel now: just very, very tired.

I want to ask a question that opponents of gay marriage don't seem to consider. if gay men are as promiscuous as society seems to believe, why are so many of us anxious to set outselves up for an lifetime of exclusivity with one other person?

I've found my soulmate, my true love. I could never be with anyone else. the one person in the world that I'm meant for. surely only a tiny percentage of the world's population can claim that. and I wish that america could respect it.

we're not in it for the money, the tax breaks, the benefits. we're not out to shove rainbow flags in the face of straight society. we're not vigilantes anxious to stand family values on end.

we are professional, educated, Christian. we wash our cars in our suburban driveway and wave to our neighbors. we're close with our families, we spoil our pets. we give back to our community. we don't do drugs, smoke, or drink to excess. we are just like a lot of other people.

and we just want to be treated that way.

I'm starting to believe that that's never going to happen.

I'm so glad that there's a decent selection of chris daughtry slash fiction online. it warms my heart. but did I really think there wouldn't be?

so my cell phone was having issues and cingular sent me a replacement. the wrong model--a more outdated one. such efficiency. guess I'll be giving them a call.

I've got to start getting more sleep. I stay up too late and it's starting to make me feel really cruddy. I'm just too much of a 'net junkie, I suppose.

I'm revisiting my teenage love affair with christopher pike books by picking up a few used ones here and there. reading them now they seem so awful. but bad movie awful, not awful awful. I'm having a marvelous time with them.

one of my favorite things about my job is that its solitary character allows plenty of time for thinking. oh, just about anything. tonight I was thinking that there are some aspects of my life that I'm very unhappy with. I went on to think about how it might be time to do something about them. you know the scene in she devil where meryl streep barges into the living room, starts throwing things (and people) around, and announces that she's taking control of her life?

yeah. that's so me. I just hope I have the nerve and the willpower.

you know, I feel sorry for simon rex. so the guy did some porn. so did sylvester stallone, and people seem to have forgiven HIM for it. let it go already!

besides, simon rex's porn was so much better.

I got a leetle raise at work. our annual "cost of living increase." lemme tell you, if it was based on the true increase in cost of living--gas prices being my major concern--it would be a bit more, methinks.

remember how I was saying how odd it is hearing from high school peeps on myspace? you know what's even weirder? seeing a friend that you haven't heard from in seven years (who is slightly younger than you) and finding that she's married with a four year old son.

and I notice a few more gray hairs...!

saw aimee mann tonight! for once I didn't have to travel to carrboro for a show, since she played in dana auditorium at guilford. a great performance. even justin--who hadn't heard of her before a couple of weeks ago--was very impressed. it's so rare that I go to shows now. it makes me regret what a comparatively small part of my life music has become. three years ago the artists that I liked played such a major role in defining who I felt I was. I really need to work on re-broadening my horizons.

bought an elliptical machine to replace the aged (pronounce that "age-ed") stationary bike. helluva workout, totally digging the endorphin rush. I'm determined to get in the best shape possible by august 5th. that's the start of nc's tax free weekend, and I'm headed to the outlets for some new clothes.

more of today's films need to include an "old dowager" character. so many american films made pre-1940 had them: a stout middle aged lady in fox furs, usually someone's rich aunt, who speaks in an impossibly high and nasal falsetto and looks at people through a lorgnette. usually a jeweled broach is found somewhere on her person. superb comic relief. I miss old dowagers.

speaking of films, ever seen the big chill? all these old college friends get together for a pal's funeral. most of them haven't seen each other in years. the viewer gets to watch them get reacquainted and reconcile what they have become with what they used to be. their experience is surreal--the kids that all these adults are expecting to see have changed just enough to be unsettling. suddenly they have careers, morals, vices...character.

that's what talking to old high school friends on myspace is like. who the hell ARE these people?

"jimmy crack corn and I don't care?" well, guess what? I don't care either.

no matter how long I live, I already know what my life's greatest regret is going to be: that I never met kurt vonnegut. oh, he's still alive and kicking at 85. but even if the man has twenty or more years of life left--which at this point seems quite possible--what are the chances that our paths will converge? not that I'd have any idea what to say to him. but I'll always regret never having the chance to say it.

independence day is nigh! so nice of north carolina to permit the sale of fireworks...if by fireworks you mean sparklers and fizzy fountain things. as if not having independent liquor stores didn't make this state fascist enough!

I don't have any transvestitic (is that a word? it is now) urges, but I can't help but be a little jealous of the socially acceptable right of ladies to wear elaborate hats. specifically I speak of african-american women's "church hats." church hats are the bomb.

when I take over the world, persons in both marriages and civil unions (and possibly domestic partnerships, under the right circumstances) will have the opportunity to legally punish cheating partners. if evidence can be provided that infidelity did indeed take place, then the cuckold will have the option to command that the adulterer's genitalia be surgically removed. with anesthetic--I'm not THAT sadistic.

I'm also going to put a stop to the abhorrent practice of men wearing their shirt collars flipped up. that might be more important, really.

if I ever have a baby I'm going to give it a stuffed toy. specifically a stuffed dingo. wouldn't that be hilarious? to give a baby a stuffed dingo? I think so. and look, they actually make them!

first batch of the cancun photos are online. as soon as I get copies of my parents' pics they'll be added. I've also expanded the "willow" gallery to include all kinds of family animals.

it was bound to happen sooner or later:

http://www.myspace.com/leftwingrobinhood

go ahead, make me feel loved.

well, made it back from cancun safe and sound, if sunburned. beautiful, as expected. not a lot of changes since last visit, although I was shocked at how many resorts are still closed from katrina damage--maybe as many as a third, I'd say. it's surreal to see all the enormous luxury hotels standing empty with windows broken out and scaffolding surrounding them. cancun seems to have become less of an exclusively american destination, as well. awful lot of scotsmen and russians, to say nothing of canadians.

we went to isla mujeres on tuesday, where justin played with dolphins and I went with dad on a submarine tour of the reef (mom just chilled and watched iguanas). on wednesday we tromped around the mayan ruins of tulum and then went to xel-ha, which is by far the greatest thing I've ever done there. it's a waterpark, but all of the bodies of water are natural, so instead of tubing in big cement rivers you get to do it in REAL ones. we snorkeled down the big river twice, gawking at all the gorgeous tropical fish. there are even a couple of cliffs where you can jump off into deep water, which justin did. we also swam through a cave and various other things. it was amazing. the rest of our time was spent lazing by the pool and beach, taking full advantage of the unlimited booze.

the first batch of boring vacation pictures will be online late today/sometime tomorrow. in the meantime, enjoy these cancun travel tips (having been all of twice now, I'm an expert):

1) most places accept both dollars and pesos, but check out the exchange rate before you go. there's a good chance that using american currency will get you ripped off. best to change it over.
2) keep plenty of small currency on hand for tips. tipping is a BIG deal.
3) everyone fully expects you to stay drunk off your ass, so go for it. but you're also expected to be respectful. obnoxious drunks are unpopular worldwide.
4) speaking of drinking, all inclusive hotels are great for a lot of reasons, all you can drink liquor not the least of them. but resort bartenders' knowledge and supplies only stretch so far. stick to basic mixtures (rum and coke, screwdrivers, etc) and the better known blended ones (margaritas, daiquiris, etc). if you want something different, just ask the bartender for "a blue one" or "something green." seriously, you'll hear tons of folks doing it.
5) unless you're fluent in spanish, stick to english. in the hotel zone nearly everyone speaks it, and trying to use spanish if you're iffy will get you in over your head conversation-wise.
6) at the resorts the employees know you're a tourist. they will be anxious to give you all the info you need on where you're going and how to get there. so DON'T leave the hotel until you feel confident that you know what you're doing. triple check everything first to avoid getting lost and wasting time.
7) everyone smokes everywhere. just so you know.
8) if you want to do anything besides chill and shop, plan at least one day ahead. pretty much all tours and activities require reservations and payment up front (and generally getting up very early). it's not a bad idea to pick up some brochures and plan out each day of your visit as soon as you arrive.
9) if you're going to do anything like snorkeling or diving, your sunblock MUST specify "biodegradable." it will be confiscated otherwise. and for the love of all that is holy, buy it before you go. otherwise you risk paying $20+ plus for a bottle. trust me.
10) mexico has more of a rep for homophobia than the u.s. but it's actually much more common there to see straight friends dining/hanging out in same sex pairs than it is here in my part of the states, so doing the same as a gay couple ain't no thang. I wouldn't recommend that guys make out in public or wear eyeliner...but that has more to do with general good taste than precautions in a foreign country.

and it's back to the real world. blecch.

time to put a rumor to rest: according to rupert holmes himself, "timothy" was not a mule. (why does the subject of cannibalism keep coming up in this blog?)

new best thing ever: google sms. at least for the time being, some of the best things in life really are free. everyone with a cell phone needs to take advantage.

I'm sure that, in many cases, women still find themselves unfairly disadvantaged in the workplace. but let me just say that workplaces vary. there are some institutions--or at the very least departments within institutions--where a pair of knockers will let you get away with murder. I won't name names.

semi-related: my vacation reading will involve the devil wears prada. shedding my literary elitism has really given me a lot more to choose from where books are concerned.

I'm surprised I haven't mentioned this, but the nor'easter is now home to only four occupants: justin, myself, and the cats. josh has moved on to the greener pastures of owning one's own home; he and rachel now reside several miles away in a darling brick abode. suddenly our house seems absurdly large.

josh's departure has, however, enabled me to move my computer into the newly christened "office," a room that actually has a cable outlet. holy shit. having a media center pc is the greatest thing in the world. of course, that new dvd recorder is now a completely unnecessary expense. well, now I have TWO ways to say "screw you, tivo."

I hate to say it--since it's the current american average--but I really think that 36C is my favorite bra size, provided the lady isn't too tall. big enough to draw the eye, but not so big as to seem unnatural.

this time next week justin, my parents, and I will be in cancun. I wish I was as excited about the trip as everyone else. for some reason I'm just really nervous. I guess now that I don't travel as often I get the butterflies more easily. I don't think I have any reason to be concerned, though. I always say that I refuse to die until I've been to paris. which is why I'm never going to paris. immortality, baby. that's what I'm talkin about.

nerdy post:

what the hell!?!? why hasn't this been released in region 1? aargh!

I'm all about dragon*con this year. in addition to the usual star trek/buffy/and such v.i.p. guests, you will never believe who is going to be there.

adrienne barbeau.

take a minute to think about that. sit in hushed, reverent silence. now you can squeal and jump around, because you know you want to.

the lengths I would go to to meet that woman. I mean, hello? the fog? swamp thing? cannibal women in the avocado jungle of death? she's royalty! if I actually get her autograph I'll have a heart attack and die right there. if she agrees to pose for a chummy picture with me, I'll have the heart attack, die, and somehow revive myself so I can do it all again.

youtube.com has ruined my life. I am hopelessly addicted to the point that I can accomplish nothing. given that it's bound to get smacked down by copyright do-gooders eventually, though (especially since you don't even have to be a half-assed hacker like me to, ahem, save the clips for posterity), I figure why not enjoy the golden age? I've found too many wonderful things to link to here, so I've chosen one. like I always say, I do not use the term genius loosely.

this is genius.

I don't think I can ever attempt any kind of creative output again. it'll fall too short.

read this. it's funny.

sometimes I think of my life as a t.v. series. I can easily visualize its entry on imdb, complete with supporting cast members' starting and ending dates in parenthesis. and of course I'd be on jumptheshark.com, with a verbal contingency of people arguing that I'd "never jumped." I wonder what my ratings are for the week, if I'll win any emmys or even be renewed for another season.

with my general lack of creativity and joi de vivre these days, a better question is: have I been cancelled?

actually, I think I'm just in syndication. if it was good enough to keep "mama's family" going, it's good enough for me.

I still don't feel motivated to do any full reviews, but here are pseudo-haiku about my in-the-theater film experiences since last update:

thank for for smoking

exceeded high hopes
aaron eckhart, what a dilf!
p.r. looks like fun

the da vinci code

nice adaptation
a bit artsy but stunning
critics quit hatin'

(especially one triad area columnist who wasn't too hard on this one but historically pisses me off and should be banned from publishing and forced to shave off his gaudy child molester facial hair. sorry, not part of the haiku, but it should be said.)

one thing in thank you for smoking did rankle me a bit, and here's the rant to go with it. people of the world: everyone living south of the mason-dixon line does not, I repeat, NOT sound like they're from savannah. for some reason filmmakers (and most non-southerners) seem to believe that there's only one southern accent, the Deep Southern one. you have to go at least to the georgia state line to hear that, and even then you don't hear it much these days. and heaven forbid an actor try to portray someone from west virginia! russell crowe should be ashamed of himself for his intonation in a beautiful mind. however, jodi foster is forever on my a-list for sounding fairly authentic in silence of the lambs. I don't think I've heard any other actor do such a nice job.

I have a really addictive personality. so why can't I become addicted to something of use, like carrots? or savings bonds?

I finally ordered the new dvd recorder/dvr I've been drooling over for months. it comes with a FREE updating program guide and a nice interface. eat that, tivo. I just can't justify paying monthly for the privilege of digital recording.

twice now I've gone into great clips attempting to get a haircut. both times there's been one stylist working, multiple people waiting, and an estimated hour wait. what the fuck? all I know is if I don't get it trimmed soon I'm going to look totally strokes-core. and I know that look's still kinda in, but it should have been out five years ago. call me a freak, but I like my men with hair that stops short of their shoulders.

our noble president has said that he opposes the designation of english as america's national language. I refuse to believe that he would actually have an intelligent opinion like that. a better explanation, I think, is that he's such a poor english speaker himself that he'd find it too embarrassing.

this brings back memories.

sometimes ignorance really is bliss. although it happened last july, I just read that the times square ho jo's is closed and gone forever. I would have been a much happier man without ever learning that.

"total eclipse of the heart" is the best song ever. naw, I'm just kidding. actually I'm not; it really is.

I think my next car may be a saturn sky. saw one yesterday and fell completely in love.

greek festival in winston this weekend! it's all about the greek coffee, which I am unable to make myself for some reason. however, I discovered that I can make a fabulous chocolate mousse from scratch. with the help of julia child's recipe, that is.

also this weekend, if we can get in, the davinci code. yeah, I'm lame. I get it. not that I wouldn't want to go anyway, but I'll see anything audrey tautou's in. I think she's one of the most beautiful women in the world. unfortunately, so does she.

the gottis are such sedgwicks.

defined:
sedgwick (n): a celebrity without notable talent or merit who would have never risen to fame without his or her association with other well known people. named for edie sedgwick, one of andy warhol's proteges. currently prominent examples are kevin federline, bijou phillips, and--of course--paris hilton.
--from Duennas and Pocket Foxes: A Guide to the Slang of Jeremy Ball and Cohorts, copyright 2003, revised 2006.

I hate fucking know-it-alls. going around all snarky and shit, starting (and ending) pointless arguments, making everyone around them feel stupid. and whether they're right or wrong (generally they're the latter, although try getting them to admit it), rubbing it in like it's the most important thing they'll ever say, instead of just letting it go. don't they realize how boorish they are, for fuck's sake? how self-righteous and pseudo-intellectual? I hope that at least a few of them mature out of it before some concerned party strangles them. but not until someone with ACTUAL intelligence teaches them some painful lesson that they won't soon forget. there was a time when I was a bit of a know-it-all, myself. I believe it plagued me in college--funny how that seems to happen, eh? I'm glad I finally realized that it just. isn't. nice. and grew up.

sorry. I really do like most people.

apparently chows are the tastiest breed of dog. I didn't know that. it's no wonder they're so mean. I also learned that the flesh of people of african descent is more prized by cannibals than "white man's flesh," which is supposedly stringy. while on my dietary research kick, I stumbled across this article, which is morbidly fascinating. imagine someone volunteering to be killed and eaten!

my vote for best comedic film of 2006 so far: an american haunting. that thing is an mst3k episode waiting to happen. maybe mike nelson will do some fabulous dvd commentary when it comes out, heh.

highly recommended to triad readers: pj's coffee and wine bar in high point, at the palladium. don't know about the wine yet, but GREAT and cheap coffee. funky nouvelle decor adds to the fun.

this is an absurdly overgeneral statement, but I'm sick and tired of current events. in general. the more I hear, the more I feel that the apocalypse is nigh. here's how it's going to go:

irate illegal immigrants are going to congregate in the vicinity of new orleans and protest by knocking down the levees. the resultant flow of water will destroy numerous chicken coops, releasing a mutant bird flu strain. everyone will catch it and die, but only because no one will be able to afford gas to get to the hospitals. the administration will offer no response, as they will be too busy eavesdropping on the telephone conversations of married gay couples trying to get ideas on how to make the democrats look bad in time for the next election.

four words to express why there's still good left in the world: inspector gadget on dvd. and I do not mean the movie.

whenever you're thinking of giving a friend advice, think about whether you'll have to qualify it with, "I'm just telling you this as a friend." if you will, don't do it. they'll probably just get pissed off and go against your advice to spite you.

it's a shame I'm so opposed to lying. I'm awfully good at it. not to mention lyeing. I mean, if you really want to get a drain unclogged...

the 'rents came down saturday and brought my grandmother to see the house. had a great time, and no one even commented on the mounds of junk that sully pretty much every room at the moment.

can't believe dean cain is almost forty. I've never thought much about him, really, but in light of that he's certainly eligible for official DILF status.

speaking of celebs, justin and I were discussing the fabulous party we're going to throw when we become rich, famous, and happening--which should happen any day now. we're trying to decide what celebs to invite. so far, the following people MUST be present: seth macfarlane, alyson hannigan (and consequently alexis denisof), scott caan, chelsea handler, drew barrymore, andy samberg, nicholas brendon, jenny lewis, adam busch, ike barinholtz, and christina ricci. oh, and henry rollins, who may end up being the oldest partygoer at this particular bash, but whothehellcareshesfuckinghenryrollins. do offer your suggestions on the matter.

thanks to the chelsea handler show (which everyone REALLY ought to watch--it's on E!) for turning me on to the existence of this little gem of dementia.

for whatever reason, whenever I learn that a film or written work deals primarily with one of the following subjects I automatically stop wanting to see/read it: war, drug trafficking, icebergs. I know I'm missing out on a lot because of that; I'm working on it.

even after learning how the minute maid company came up with its name, I still think it's dumb.

it's about time that people started giving the wallflowers the respect they deserve. I just may have to buy all their records (already have one, so need four).

remember the tv series "father dowling mysteries?" I loved that show. similarly, remember "sister kate?" not so great; I still remember the milli vanilli episode.

dinner tonight with justin, josh, rachel, mad dog, and noel was very amusing. first time I'd seen people that I don't work and/or live with in forever. so a step in the right direction. life has become more insular, if that's possible. other than forwards and mailing list stuff, I've gotten two e-mails since my birthday. I only ever talk to my mom and justin (occasionally josh, naturally). it's like I'm back in high school. I just feel like I should be more social. and I wish that I had the time. so it goes.

latest absurd purchase: an ionic pro air purifier. will post an update on its efficacy once it's been established.

less than two months now until our week in cancun. I'm anxious to wake up every day with margaritas, lie in the sun with dacquiris, and fall asleep under the influence of fuzzy navels. I'm not an alcoholic, but when it's all inclusive you want to get your money's worth.

given that something as distant as the moon controls the tides, is it reasonable to say that extended periods of happiness and displeasure in my life are controlled by a complete stranger's hair or lack thereof? there's the most delicious boy in gso (short, muscley, that marvelously blond hair that nearly always darkens after childhood) whom I first noticed several years ago as a coffeehouse regular when he had long hair (and no beard). "what a shame," I thought, "with biceps like those and a bum like that to spoil the package with that icky hair!"

some months later I saw him working at teeter--short hair. mmm. nice. life was good. then he grew this dreadful beard, spoiling everything again. thus began the winter of my discontent. few men should have full beards. only my dad and jonathan frakes, I think. but I kept my eye on him in vain hope.

then last week, when I stopped in for some groceries. new haircut. clean shaven. I was elated, I tell you. my buoyant mood has persisted. which leads me to wonder about a subconscious connection.

in a similar vein, I have to say it: nick lachey is hot. now I have to go and hang myself for the shame of admitting it. anybody got some rope?

there's just no getting around it. dan brown is a damn good author. I read deception point and didn't really care for it, but the da vinci code turned me around. now I'm reading angels and demons, also great. that said, he makes some awfully bubbleheaded errors in his books. in the da vinci code, it is made very clear that the two main characters are riding in a taxi that is a stick shift. then, mention is made of putting the cab in "park." now, in angels and demons, I find numerous references to cell phones having dial tones--not ringtones, dial tones. having owned a cell phone in 2001, I can call that an error with some certainty. I don't know who to blame more, brown or his editor.

if john mayer ever has kids, they'll never have trouble falling asleep. can you imagine john mayer singing you a lullaby? my grown up eyes get heavy just thinking about it, and I mean that as a compliment.

going to wv for Easter this weekend. no special plans, just the usual. I always look forward to visiting my family, but I get frustrated with how bluefield limits the usual weekend possibilities. I just know that I'm going to want cook out burgers, tate street coffee, and barnes and noble browsing as soon as I hit the city limits.

I know I'm 12+ months late on this, but it's such an outrage to me that anyone should steal "the scream" (the munch painting). if I had to list the five works of art that, to me personally, must never be lost, it would be on there. and no one seems to be making a big enough deal about it to suit me. I'll bet the precious mona lisa would command a bit more attention.

on tv, people are forever taking their significant others to quiet, dignified restaurants to break up with them "so they won't make a scene." that's really wonky to me. hello? break it off in private--house, car, etcetera--then what does it matter? the more expensive the venue the more of a scene I'd feel obliged to make, myself.

apparently whenever something on a film set didn't go to greta garbo's liking, she threatened to go back to sweden. she got her way every time. that's so awesome. whenever something doesn't go my way from now on, I'm threatening to go back to sweden. that'll show em.

slim mints are a very effective diet aid. but not if you ever want to sleep again. I'm afraid that I may have to give them up in favor of getting back to my coveted eight hours per night.

best place to be in the 1920s: sitting around the algonquin round table. worst place to be: not sitting around the algonquin round table but on the shit list of someone who was.

I forgot to mention how much neat stuff I found when I cleaned off the bed in the front bedroom so the carpet cleaning folks wouldn't have so much to work around. most of what was piled on it has been there since we've moved in, I've been so loathe to sort through it. it included:

--cameras: one 35mm, one digital, and one mini dv video camera
--a stuffed alligator named starla
--many pieces of clothing, including two cashmere sweaters valued at approximately $380
--dvds and cds beyond counting
--a magic 8 ball
--an hp deskjet color printer
--a megaphone
--an overnight bag
--last year's tax return
--my graduation mortarboard

...and ever so much more.

sorry for the long silence. I've been spending most of my computer related time transferring all my crap from the old machine to the new one, an ongoing project.

I took a couple of well deserved days off last week, sleeping and eating too much. since the end of the quarter had passed I was hoping to return to a quieter, less strained office. wrong. I'm working more now than ever, over two hours of overtime tonight alone. I'm taking bets on when I finally just crack.

many thanks to charles for sending me his xanga link to add to my list on the left. he's a fabulous, witty, unique, and--dare I say it?--devastatingly handsome man who deserves to be much read.

I'm sure I have a lot more to say, but my brain is done for the night. I sit here, asking it to cook up witty repartee, and it's all, "uh uh. nope, I'm tired. get back to ya." so to bed.

oh, joy. oh, rapture. the glory that is a new computer. my old one just wasn't cutting it. full hard drive, and I could go downstairs and make a grilled cheese in the time it took to open firefox. I am now the adoring owner of a sony vaio vgc-ra840g. pentium d dual core processor (water cooled, no less), 250 gb hard drive (if I fill THAT up I've got issues), dvd burner, tv tuner, wireless everything, and way too many speakers. many other features I really don't need.

now, the ra840g hasn't been made for a couple of months--having been replaced with an almost identical model with a different name--but its technology is still top notch. compusa had exactly one left, the display. they knocked the price down and threw in two full years of on site service. the upshot? I got a $1400 computer for $880 today.

james was in town today, as was carl willis. great dinner out at tripp's. I forgot how much fun it can be talking to people that I don't live with! not that they aren't fun, but you know.

chemdry came today and freshened up the bedroom carpet. on thursday we had the repair guy in to remedy the thumping washing machine (courtesy of windsor, no charge to us--everything in the nor'easter is under warranty for one year). next goal, landscaping. we be gettin shit done up in this piece!

man, everything in this post is so exciting. to me, anyway. I'll stop boring all y'all for the time being. happy weekend!

I love knowing that there are people in the world crazier than I am. if I actually got vh1 classic, I'd watch the whole hour.

the imminent rise of wal-mart where the mighty carolina circle mall hath fallen is something that I've mentioned here before. since certain people-who-must-not-be-named refused to accompany me on a mission inside the derelict xanadu, here are some fabulous pictures from someone who did venture in. I'm not sure why I'm obsessed with the whole carolina circle affair, but there's a 19 page long thread on urbanplanet.org built up by others who are as well.

now that the sequel is forthcoming, I finally took it upon myself to watch basic instinct this weekend. y'know, that's a pretty damn good movie. and I don't even care about sharon stone's vagina.

justin and I received a $1200 check from wells fargo yesterday. they overestimated our escrow costs and are refunding us the excess money, as well as lowering our house payment permanently by $80 a month. talk about a nice surprise.

thanks be to josh for turning me onto the clientele. such a wonderful band. they're the musical equivalent of a slow, introspective walk through the streets of a small town on an autumn day, the scent of fallen leaves wafting up from your feet.

sorry, that was positively revolting. but they are.

by the way: if you're reading this and personally know me even the teeniest bit and have a blog/journal of your own, do me a favor and send me the link--provided that you don't mind if I link to you. I need to update my left side linkage. those of you over there who don't keep your posts up to date, shame on you. those of you who DO, thanks to you all. you help me remember when I had a social life.

no. NO. enn-ohh NO. absolutely not.

tell me this isn't off kilter. as most of y'all know, isaac hayes is the voice of chef on south park. and of course, south park viciously skewers every societal concept under the sun--I say this with the utmost respect. religion is no exception. over the seasons Jews, Christians, Mormons, etcetera have all been lampooned to the point of even making me blush.

but let the show make fun of scientologists--scientologists--and isaac hayes announces that he's walking.

so much for chef.

on the lighter side, I seem to be doing okay:

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7
Mind:	5.9
Body:	6.1
Spirit:	6.7
Friends/Family:	6.2
Love:	9.2
Finance:	8.1
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

more reasons why I'm a disturbed human being:

watching fatal attraction today, I found myself feeling more sympathy for glenn close than michael douglas.

I find websites like this compelling.

I think that socialized medicine is really a fantastic idea...oh, wait. that just makes me normal and sensible. strike this one.

[warning: this implicates other people] just before writing this, I was talking with ali about carl buddig lunch meat. we'd been talking about carl buddig lunch meat for quite some time. the only reason we stopped talking about carl buddig lunch meat was that my phone's battery died.

when I was a kid, I used to call shopping malls around the country and ask for paper directories. they mailed them. I collected them. I had dozens.

I get a little too excited about kitchen utensils. man, there's this honkin pizza cutter at tuesday morning that I want so bad...

ground fog gets me hot.

driving around town, I sometimes feel the urge to stop, get out, and just walk around. just because I'm passing by parts of the earth that I may never touch otherwise.

I really want to go to the cn tower in toronto, lie on the glass observation floor (1,122 feet above ground) and look down. reason this is disturbing: I'm afraid of heights.

I spend what little free time I have making blog posts like this.

lovely!

You're A Prayer for Owen Meany!

by John Irving

Despite humble and perhaps literally small beginnings, you inspire
faith in almost everyone you know. You are an agent of higher powers, and you manifest
this fact in mysterious and loud ways. A sense of destiny pervades your every waking
moment, and you prepare with great detail for destiny fulfilled. When you speak, IT
SOUNDS LIKE THIS!


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

classic quote (not sure from whom, just read it online somewheres): coming out of the closet is way too much like going through the wardrobe. it's always winter, never Christmas, and I just know there's an EVIL queen lurking about!

I'm really looking forward to the oscars, though I've only seen one of the big five. I missed most of them last year due to a fight with justin, although neither of us can remember what it was about. here's hoping history doesn't repeat itself, although I'm certainly not planning any altercations.

speaking of justin, after getting tired of my complaints about not having enough pics of him, he deemed two more photos suitable for thousand words, so they're in his gallery. I have some great ones of his cat as well (a.k.a. "black willow"), and will add them soon.

and speaking of movies, I know that everyone in the free world is going to blast me for this one...date movie = hilarious. juvenile and tasteless, but hilarious. it also reinforces my belief that alyson hannigan is a goddess. I want to give birth to her children.

of course, if we're talking buffy cast members, nicholas brendon wins out.

I can understand david boreanaz, but drooling over james marsters is just weird.

and I'm a dork. signing off.

saying that something is as easy as taking candy from a baby is awful. unless said baby is choking, why would you take candy from it? there are some sick fucking people in the world.

speaking of sick, I've been there. coughing my fool head off for a week, but I'm finally starting to mend.

(for want of anything better to say at the moment, some pretentious indie babble. so stop reading here if you don't care about music, you damn heathen)

the verdict is in on the life pursuit. this is a remarkable album. it comes across as a synthesis of all that they've accomplished thus far. the elements of kitsch and whimsy evident on dear catastrophe waitress are all here, combined with the introspective lyrical aspects of the band's earlier work. overall the sound is light and peppy, but don't be fooled: there's depth, and then some. it isn't my favorite record of theirs (will tigermilk ever really be trumped?), but it's a gem.

however, it's even easier to gush about rabbit fur coat, from jenny lewis (of rilo kiley) and the watson twins. have mercy. each rilo kiley record has had echos of a vintage country sound, one that lewis' voice is well suited to. rabbit fur coat is positively steeped in the kind of c & w that would make patsy cline feel proud. it sounds like ole jenny is finally doing what she's always wanted. the production is so clear and sharp she could be singing just over my shoulder. on rilo kiley albums (though I love em all) I've noticed that she tends to strain her vocals sometimes, making what could be sweet notes sound forced and harsh. here, she's consistently melodious and natural. stock up on kleenex, get a six pack of your fave american beer, and settle in with this one.

celebrated valentine's day this weekend. dinner at leblon. ever been to a brazilian steakhouse? if you like the idea of continuous meat, it's a good thing.

finally got around to getting the new belle & sebastian, the life pursuit, today. the damn thing's been out since tuesday--I'm slacking off! I'm withholding opinion on it, though, until I've given it 10-15 listens.

famous vocalists should dress in disguise, go to really lame karaoke contests, and sing their own songs. I'd do it. but then, my sense of humor is such that I'd really WANT to lose.

in this month's issue of cargo, monsieur jeremy piven. a sliver of chest is visible, and there is definitely some hair regrowth. maybe there's still hope. I know I'm always getting on my high horse about this, but any guy who routinely waxes his chest/stomach region may as well just cut his balls off, in my opinion. you're a man. take pride in what your testosterone has wrought!

that said, anything on the back and shoulders is negotiable. by all means, nair away.

for years I've been wanting to try jamaican blue mountain coffee. y'know, the stuff that's generally $30+ per pound? I bought a teeeeensy bag today at fresh market and brewed a bit. mmm. I think I understand the appeal, even if my wallet may never quite grasp it.

the quarter life crisis has hit. I really need to put some spice into my life. this drudging through the humdrum week for the promise of a cookie cutter weekend is wearing thin (of course, the time spent with justin makes every weekend worthwhile, but you know). I have little time for hobbies, same problem for extended learning, and I already have a sports car. so far the best I can come up with is taking an online course in esperanto. which, all things considered, is a pretty badass idea.

uck. so many waking hours spent at the office lately. more work equals more money, but sanity can't be bought. I need a rest.

the birthday was good. got the big present from my parents: a chest freezer. am I domestic or what? now when mayfield birthday cake ice cream is buy one get one free I can stock up and get even fatter!

at some point in life I want to become a figurehead of some positive group or organization. figureheads really have it made. all the perks, all the visibility, none of the legwork. it seems like a pretty decent gig.

I have an idea for a new hobby. I'm going to buy a bicycle and equip it with a wire basket and a bell. I'm going to take it to downtown gso around 5:00 and look for pedestrians who seem to be in a hurry. I will then proceed to ride around them in circles ringing my bell and impeding their progress as much as possible. I think it would be good clean fun.

okay, time to clear something up. many of you have heard the rumors of colin farrell's...natural endowments. and of course, there was the whole sex tape leakage that his attorneys managed to get tightly under control. well, almost. let's just say that the file still lurks in some seedy back alleys of the information superhighway.

personally, I call him a "high average." but if most people regard him as humongous, my self esteem should really be a lot higher than it is.

sorry about the period of silence. the past couple of weeks have been very emotional and difficult. I won't get into specifics here; besides, with biological depression compounding everything as usual, anything I could take the time to mention would just be the tip of one big mysterious iceberg. and it's so much easier for me to put a happy face on things in person. when I write I can unwittingly wax overdramatic, hence the not writing. suffice it to say that I'm feeling much more stable, back to being just as happy as a pig in...um, pig heaven or something.

since my e-hiatus was also a break from non-line writing, the brokeback mountain review has yet to see the pixeled page. will it? I'm not sure. for one thing, a lot of the really strong insights I wanted to get down went poof. for another, I'm not sure if I really want to revive petrified fountain or just let it continue to moulder. when I started it up it was so much fun, but at that time I was at a very different place in life. it was so much more...relevant. now doing full length movie reviews just seems like incredibly snooty intellectual masturbation. as opposed to the downmarket anti-intellectual masturbation I do with this blog. we'll see.

birthday's on sunday. hopefully the parents will be able to make it down. as those of you familiar with my policy on aging may be aware, I have only one more birthday for the next thirteen years. I will stop at 26, since to me 27 sounds much too close to 30. I will stay at 26 until I am 39, then rethink my numeric options.

tell you what, though. I'm afraid that within the next year I'm going to have to start dyeing my hair, seriously. the premature threads of gray have been much noticed. and that's not paranoia talking, that's PEOPLE talking, saying to my face, "look! gray hair!" I can understand the distinguished gray thing, but I think that only works post 40. until then it's all about the grecian formula.

anyone catch peter sarsgaard on snl last night? woof. move over aloysius--I think I've found a new teddy bear.

I am really getting perverted in my old age.

I hate these sleepless weekend nights. it's impossible to totally reset my internal clock for normal hours for two days a week, so I always end up slipping out of bed and footling about the house. poor justin, sleeping alone. dreaming of me? perhaps. I dream of justin sometimes. in my subconscious he's exactly the same--face, body, voice. because when you find someone who is so completely perfect for you, it's ridiculous to idealize them in dreams. he's turned my life--every waking and sleeping hour--into the greatest dream I've ever had.

I guess I'd better go and get a late night snack before you, Constant Reader, start to throw up.

back with more soon, but for now just one REALLY important announcement:

after nearly twenty four years of periodic exposure, I've concluded that "harper valley p.t.a." (the original jeannie c. riley version) is the greatest song ever. feel free to argue against that, but I should go ahead and tell you that you'll be wrong.

one more thing and then I'm REALLY going to bed.

a dear friend and I were discussing honorary doctorates the other day.

this just in: yahoo serious has one.

I've been waiting my entire adult life for more people to agree with this:

You scored as The all-round cute gay guy. YOu are a cute guy who many would die to be with..........lucky!! Straight Acting 90% The all-round cute gay guy 90% A Big Bear 70% Raging Queer 30% Straight Queer Basher 30% Straight 10% S + M guy 0% What type of Gay are YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

a few things about altitude:
I'd love to slide down a fire pole someday.
little known fact: I'm afraid of heights indoors (i.e. looking down from the third story in four seasons town center) but generally not outoors.
for some odd reason, I think it's kinda sexy when people in movies/tv shows scale chain link fences.

a promise to loyal (and disloyal) readers: petrified fountain will unfreeze later this week. expect a full review of brokeback mountain, which I saw earlier this evening. will post a link when it's complete.

justin is the greatest guy in the world. I just needed to get that out there, once again.

a phrase that I dislike: "I've never seen that person before in my life." oh, please. you do not know that. unless you yourself are a shut in, or unless the "person" in question resembles the elephant man. there's always a chance that any random human being you see in public may have crossed into your field of vision before.

I've become unhealthily obsessed with my bread machine--a Christmas present from rhonda (justin's mom). never again will there not be a fresh loaf in the nor'easter.

another appliance acquisition: a philips senseo one cup coffeemaker. wow, what a boon to humanity. I love it dearly.

I've been waiting almost two years for this to happen again.

I wrote a complete 5000 word short story tonight. just me at the keys for almost five hours, never stopping for more than a few seconds. and it felt fucking fantastic. the merits of the story are debatable, but the experience of writing for hours on end is such an amazing rush, one that I wish that I could have more often. I crave it like a drug.

and I'm spent.

I am so sick of societally constructed notions of what is and isn't sexy.

I love it when I get to the end of a book (or open it at the beginning) and find a section detailing what font the text is in. one that I was reading recently was actually more of a glowing review, saying, "goudy himself described this font as..." love that.

new year's resolutions that I won't keep:

lose 10+ lbs
exercise at least 2-3 times per week
take better care of teeth
save at least $50 per week
pay more on credit cards
start christmas shopping before t-giving and finish by weekend before
dress like I actually give a crap
don't see hitch (there's really no danger of that happening, but I want it publicly known)

wow. just when you think you're wise to the ways of the world, you find out that brothels have websites (careful--they's boobs on this website, tee hee. be sure to check out "the menu!).

sorry. when I'm in wv the urge to waste time can get a little out of hand.

by the way, I uploaded a few more pictures of willow. these are more recent. sorry the banister ones are a bit blurry, but it's hard to get a cat to stay still for a camera at times.

have you ever turned on the t.v. thinking "there's nothing good on," yet somehow the best thing that could POSSIBLY be on is? it's one of the greatest feelings ever.

thanks, amc, for showing desk set this morning. even though I own it on dvd and have probably watched it 20+ times, somehow it was just perfect today. everyone who likes romantic comedies should see it. everyone who doesn't like romantic comedies should see it. if you think that the phrase "mexican avenue bus" is amusing, you should see it. in short, if for some unearthly reason you haven't, see desk set.

next post will probably be post-Christmas. that said, happy holidays everyone!!!

you know, it's awful to say, but sometimes crazy people are just funny.

I've decided that I don't like stomach tattoos--not of anything, not on anyone. it smacks of white trash to me. or, I suppose, "black trash" as the case may be.

I hate it when rings (the kind worn on one's finger) get water behind them and make funny noises.

I worry way too much about finding glass in my food. it's not normal. it probably stems from an early childhood incident of staple-in-the-hot-fudge-cake at shoney's. no, seriously, it happened.

speaking of food, ever added smoked salmon to alfredo sauce? it's gooood.

the last few days have been emotionally polar ones. a friend of mine is moving to alaska, which is a sad thing indeed. no one that I could label "a good friend," but someone that I truly wish I'd spent more time with. and he's moving to alaska. a bold move by any standards, one that makes me think about all the chances I haven't taken. studying law out west. studying film up north. all the adventures I passed up on. even thinking back on my life a few years ago--going to shows, partying on weekends (or during the week), learning...anything. I used to be alive, dammit!

not that I have anything to legitimately complain about. I don't regret any of the choices I've made, because they've provided a means to the fulfilled, comfortable life that I lead now. I guess what I'm wondering is...is this it? am I done? an actualized life at the ripe old age of twenty-four? no more adventures, no more prospects? I just don't know if I'm ready to accept that.

there's this mental image that always pops up when I ask myself, "who do you wish you were?" I see myself in greenwich village, union square I think. it's a fall day, cool and breezy (of course it's usually breezy in manhattan). I'm wearing a tweed jacket over a sweater and jeans. I'm holding a 35 mm movie camera. I look up, I smile, and I revel in all the life around me, wanting to take it all in, to capture it.

this from the guy who is too lackadaisical to even take up cinematography as a hobby.

on a completely different note, is it too much to ask that a supermarket carry peanut butter cookies? harris teeter at friendly center doesn't, unless they're well hidden. no major brands, none in the deli, no bake your own (except ones that have reese's pieces). grr.

well, it's turning out to be the best weekend ever. all my doubts about the lion, the witch and the wardrobe were laid to rest. it's an amazing film--beautifully shot, superbly acted, and astoundly true to the book. and I have a reallllllly big celebrity crush on william moseley (peter), the marvelously lame sort of crush that is usually peculiar to 13-15 year old girls. in fact, since I never inline images anymore and should get back in the habit:











I mean, come on!

how can you not find that adorable?














speaking of habits, my talk here has been unhealthily guy focused of late. I should really mention ladies more...so how bout that miss hathaway? pretty bodacious, huh?

trip to winston tomorrow to complete (???) Christmas shopping. money's not my main holiday obstacle this year--it's creativity, or lack thereof. you know what I like? when people I know just say, "get me _______." that is music to my ears. failure to have done so this year may just mean a gift card, people. and I'm also weary of this "oh, you don't have to get me anything" crap. OF COURSE I DON'T HAVE TO GET YOU ANYTHING! I could be a selfish bastard and spend all my money on myself, but I'm a damn nice person, dammit! if I had some idea of what to buy you, it would be bought and paid for! I'm asking for your help, here! HELP ME ALREADY!!!

aah, much better.

y'know, MILF is a fun acronym to throw around. but the ripoff, DILF, just lacks dignity somehow. I wish that someone would come up with something else, but the best I can do is Dad I'd Like to DO. DILDO. that's just no good.

that said, I think that MILFs and DILFs differ in more ways that just sex. MILF can be applied to pretty much any attractive woman who is in her mid-thirties or older. but in my opinion, DILFs are different. the same age requirement applies, but by my definition a DILF isn't a guy that I would necessarily consider conventionally "hot."

in establishing whether a man fits the mold, I picture myself at 13 or 14 being invited to a sleepover at a friend's house. guy in question is friend's dad, and as such exudes a fatherly air of maturity and protectiveness rather than the raw sexuality of, say, an a & f model. a boy-next-door turned suburban commuter. of course I'm going to this friend's house because I enjoy his/her company...but there's also the chance of seeing his/her dad walk around the house shirtless. if I can imagine the guy in that scenario, he's a good candidate for DILF-hood. and there really aren't all that many.

some of my celebrity DILFs (go ahead and laugh; I already know my taste is weird):

jason bateman (easily #1)
tim robbins (fading fast, but still got it for now)
brian krause (of charmed fame)
scott bakula (a timeless classic, in my opinion)
kevin spacey (the dimples give him an edge)
julian mcmahon (um...actually I think he's #1. sorry jason)
mike nelson (shut up, he is SO)
adam baldwin (without the lame facial hair he's cultivated of late)

john cusack and alec baldwin were both close, but they've started to look a little too old and a lot too chunky, respectively.

do let me know who should be granted the coveted DILF status in your opinions.

and if anyone knows why I devote my precious time to silly posts like this, let me know about that as well.

like the harry potter series, I put it off as long as possible. but in a similar fashion, I'm ashamed to say that I finally got sucked in.

the da vinci code. quick snickering and just read the damned thing. seriously.

this weekend I must see the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe. I'm sure that most of y'all are aware of my narnia obsession. as such, this weekend will either rule beyond comparison or suck most righteously, depending on how much justice is done to the book. furthermore, I know I risk the wrath of at least 50% of other narnian fanatics by saying this, but I truly believe that the magician's nephew should have been made first. this website offers a number of theories on the matter of reading order that I hadn't considered.

ocelots are from africa. so why is has one been spotted running around fisher park? that's just weird.

on a completely unrelated note: after existing for about two years now, my street can finally be located on mapquest. huzzah! my house exists after all!

the wedding was very pretty. and you gotta love a reception that offers both italian food and unlimited wine.

speaking of beverages, ginger ale is a very underrated one. if you're reading this and like it at all, go buy some.

message for the g.p.d.: stop hanging around outside central library! when I have books to return it's so much easier to park in the bus loading zone with my flashers on and run them inside (audio books can't be returned outside at that branch, why I dunno), but I'm not going to try that with cops around. so I have to find a space in the parking deck, turning a 60 second task into 4-5 minutes. that's just not okay. I'm fine with enforcing laws and all that bushwah, but not at the expense of my personal conveniences.

happy thanksgiving, all. posting live from the mountains of wv, where everyone is still basking in yesterday's festivities. got up at the crack of dawn (10 a.m., which IS the crack of dawn if you have to work until 5:00) and drove to justin's family in mount airy for lunch, then here for dinner.

my sister is getting married in about an hour and a half. I love having an excuse to wear a suit, but I'm glad it's not a daily necessity. of course laura's in town for the event with HER new fiance, travis, whom everyone likes very much. all these people getting married! it's enough to make you want to barf, really.

I promised myself I wouldn't mention the new harry potter film until I put together a full post about it, but I'll go ahead and say that it is great. and I do plan to do a full review for the first time in a year--I'll try and get to that within a few days. sunday justin and I are taking rachel to the imax theater in raleigh to see it on the big (read: five story) screen. that should be pretty amazing.

time to start getting ready for the big event! let's just hope I can still fit into my suit. hmm, maybe I should have checked on that before...

y'know, I'm actually feeling ready for Christmas this year. not that I've gotten all my shopping done--not even close--I just don't feel that the preparations have started too soon. however, that said, I do NOT think that radio stations should play holiday music literally around the clock. I'm a notorious station surfer; my drive to work is a constant cycle between five frequencies. switch over to all Christmas/all the time and you diminish my available stations by one. hear that, preset button number three? cut it out already!

I dreamed last night that I was a character in a television drama about college life. nostalgia much?

naturally I'm going to see the new harry potter flick this weekend. I'm trying to go into it without too many preconceived notions. still, after number three I'm wary.

work news: the head of my department left the other night. no notice, nothin. just out the door she went during the middle of the work "day." quite dramatic. we're all sad to see her go. apparently some tension with upper management just escalated a bit too far. being in the trenches I wouldn't really know, m'self.

thirrrrrrrsty. must go drink gallon of tea or like substance.

lame quiz results time!


You're Fred!


Which Angel character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are Toonces!


Which SNL Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Stewie


Which Family Guy Character Are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I would never want to be known as an alcoholic, but being referred to as a "dipsomaniac" would be pretty sweet. so many beautiful words fallen into disuse!

Christmas is coming up, folks. shortly after that, the birthday arriveth. need gift ideas? here's all you need, the oft updated wish list. go buy me stuff. after all, I've only got two birthday's left for a while. like I've always said, I'm stopping at 26. 27 just sounds too close to 30, so I'm going to be 26 until I'm at least 38, at which time I'll actually turn 38 and stay there until I'm 50. after that I'll just wing it. the way I see it, as long as I stay away from sun and cigs and moisturize religiously, I've got the bone structure to grow ancient quite gracefully. if I have to dip into the grecian formula, so be it. but I refuse to go bald. eh, why worry? often hair loss is caused by an excess of testosterone. let's see..."jeremy has an excess of tes...t..test..." I can't even finish typing it without giggling.

speaking of appearance, I've been on the diet train and have lost roughly ten pounds. five more and I treat myself to a new outfit. ten after that, I kill myself because life will never get any better. actually I'll probably just put all back on and them some when I scream, "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE," fill an IV drip with olive oil, and spike myself the hell up while chowing down on loaves of french bread and wheels of mozzarella.

remember when I wanted to be a filmmaker?

thanks to shana's lj for clueing me in to this amusing website.

I smell sex and candy here.

who's that lounging in my chair?

who's that casting devious stares in my direction?

mama, this surely is a dream.

I think the best possible song for a quote-unquote indie pop band to cover would be "wichita lineman." are you reading this, ben? just because death cab signed to a major label doesn't mean you can't still have some fun.

having just reviewed the previous paragraph, I find my use of quote-unquote quite humorous. I bet it'll annoy all kinds of people, too. expect to see it again.

speaking of songs, even though it wasn't intended as such, fire island should adopt "twistin the night away" as its theme. think about it: new york, people who "are so gay," queens? it seems obvious enough to me.

I'm the last healthy person in the nor'easter; everyone is currently or has been very flulike. wish me luck staving it off.

I have a great american respect for baseball, but I'm getting pretty tired of evvvvvvverything on fox getting pushed aside for it.

anyone who lives in, has ever lived in, or has ever heard of the triad should read this.

james bond should NOT be blond. I feel very strongly about this.

worst radio edit of a song ever: "walk on the wild side." I understand the necessity for a bleep or two, but one entire verse gets cut out and the other verses are strung together. the choruses are cut, but then one chorus gets tacked onto the end. jeez, why bother to even play it?

all things considered, I have a wonderful life. my job isn't exactly what I want to be doing, but I'm lucky to have it. I have fabulous friends, a spiffy house, and the greatest guy ever to share it all with. in the grand scheme of things, this is the happiest I've ever been.

maybe it's this happiness that has made me feel so overcome with guilt about things I've done before. mistakes that I've made in relationships years past keep surfacing in my mind like corpses. several times before men--beautiful, intelligent, caring men--have hung their hopes on me, planned the rest of their lives around a relationship with yours truly. obviously I'm glad that those relationships didn't pan out, but each time I've been the one to smash their dreams. I could never do that to justin, nor would I ever want to. and I'm older and hopefully wiser now. but that doesn't stop me lying awake and thinking of the promises that I've made and broken.

a lot of it comes down to this memory that's on a continuous loop in my mind lately. I'm in the apartment of...well, let's call him fred. I'm in fred's basement apartment waiting for him to come home from work. fred loves me, and I love fred. we've been together exclusively for several months and have already spoken of a lifetime commitment. I'm sitting on the sofa when I see his car pull in. he gets out and runs down the stairs. he runs. just because I'm there.

I broke it off with him four months later, in a cowardly and juvenile fashion. but even if I'd done it diplomatically I'd be bothered. we were supposed to be the rest of each other's lives. but I think that part of me knew all the time that it wasn't right. I guess that's what really gets to me in each of these past romances. part of me knew, but I kept smiling and nodding. sure, my relationships tend to move fast, often before I realize what I'm getting into. and in each case I really did believe--for a while--that "it" COULD work. but none of these justifications can undo what I did.

maybe it just speaks to the depth of my feelings for justin that I feel this way. if anything happened to us I'd be destroyed. in addition to the "relationship survivor's guilt" of late, I've started developing disturbing takes on other issues. the remarriage of a widow/widower, for instance. if someone completely gives him/herself over to someone else who dies, how could he/she dare to make a similar commitment to another person? if the spouse was truly loved in the first place, how can the survivor even entertain the notion of picking up the pieces and moving on with someone new? call me radical, but I just couldn't.

sorry to ramble so much. but I wouldn't be awake at 6:00 on a sunday morning if I hadn't been preoccupied all night. well, maybe I can get some rest now.

the first thousand words update in a while: six shiny tate street festival pictures. wish I'd taken more, but there it is.

I'm going to try and revive the lost art of letter writing. not e-mails, not postcards, but letters. thanks to electronic communication and such, people are forgetting how to properly structure correspondence. ten years from now people probably won't be able to indent a paragraph or align a salutation to save their lives. not me, uh uh. I respect grammar too much. so I'm going to order some good quality personalized stationery and get a wax seal made with my scottish family crest on it to make em look swank. if you find this pretentious, well...yes, I agree. but it's a great idea, no? so many of y'all can expect requests for snail mail addresses from me soon, hopefully.

it's sad that so many regional department store chains are being sucked under, but I can't help being excited that the big unnecessary hecht's on bridford parkway will soon be the big unnecessary macy's.

had a swell time at the tate street festival today with carra, julie, emily, ashley, and a host of guilford characters that have made only an occasional guest appearance for the last couple of seasons. I really do need to work on infusing some new--or old--blood into the series before my life gets cancelled. I don't even want to THINK about how many millions of households aren't watching me these days.

it's official. villarosa = best marinara sauce ever. next time I go I should just ask them to fill up one of the tea pitchers with it so I can pour it over everything liberally. well, maybe not the tiramisu.

so much good stuff in the news! click on these:

sweet!
woo hoo!
bitchin!

also, I found these amusing:

Wedding Etiquette

A couple of things you should know before a Vermont same-sex wedding.....

1) On the day of a gay wedding, it's bad luck for the two grooms to see each other at the gym.

2) Superstition suggests that for good luck the couple should have: Something bold, something fierce, Something trashy, something dirty.

3) It's customary at gay and lesbian nuptials for the parents to have an open bar during the ceremony.

4) Gay wedding tradition dictates that both grooms refrain from eating wedding cake because it's all carbs.

5) It's considered bad luck for either of the grooms to have dated the priest.

6) During the first dance, it's considered unlucky to use glow sticks, flags, whistles or handheld lasers.

7) For good luck at the union of a drag queen, the bouquet is always thrown in the face of a hated rival drag queen.

8) A local saying from colonial Northampton: A lesbian who owns a horse will never tell a lie, But a lesbian who votes Republican will leave you for a guy.

9) The wedding singer is not allowed to play/sing Let's hear it for the boy, YMCA or I will Survive.

10) The father of the Bottom pays for everything!

wouldn't it be nice if you could take a leave of absence from your life?

but I suppose, like taking a leave from work, there's the danger that you won't want to go back.

sorry. not in the best of moods lately, I guess.

this makes me happy.

just need to sound off for a minute. I read an infuriating editorial yesterday in which the author actually had the nerve to gleefully tout $4-5 per gallon gas prices as a means of sticking it to the nation's SUV drivers. I'm the first to decry the SUV craze as wasteful, but what about people in my position? I already drive a car that gets 30+ miles per gallon, but I have an unavoidable 50 mile (round trip) commute per day. moving closer to work is out of the question, as is leaving my company. given staggered shifts and varied overtime, car pooling is not a viable option for me either. last but not least, I REALLY don't need to hear opinions like that from someone in D.C., a city with a commendable public transportation system. in short: stick it.

while I'm on the subject, some more information I dug up: guy A goes to his local toyota dealership and buys a new corolla. guy B goes to the same dealership and buys a prius. both guys drive an average of 15,000 miles per year. "ha ha!" says B. "this little number will save me enough money at the pump to pay for itself!" the awful truth? over the next five years, the only way that he can come out ahead of guy A and his corolla is if gas prices immediately rise to over $10.00 per gallon and stay there. wow, let's hope not.

anyone else psyched about corpse bride? I know I am.

as for print entertainment, I'm currently reading john irving's setting free the bears. granted I've got 200 pages to go--that I will finish--but as of right now...wow, what a pretentious load of bull. we've got viennese milkmen beating horses, naked guys running outside and biting people on their necks, and policemen forcing innocent bystanders to be beekeepers. and somehow it all ties in with vietnam.

so I got to work tonight and within two hours developed a nasty headache. it got progressively worse while the office seemed to get obnoxiously bright. to cap it all off, I got nauseated. goody's powder couldn't touch these symptoms, and I had an odd suspicion as to what might be causing them. I drove home with the windows down, changed my shirt and rinsed off a bit, and shortly thereafter felt fine. diagnosis: migrane headache brought on my the scent of my favorite cologne--which I hadn't worn for several weeks. can reactions like that develop so suddenly? if so, then I guess that $50 worth of dkny be delicious will go to waste.

speaking of money, I'm stressed beyond belief. I really feel that working during the day would make me much happier at this point. with the pay cut, we might JUST be able to pay the bills...as long as josh was living with us. if he moved out and we couldn't rent his room, we'd be forced to sell the house.

and there's still another issue. working days would make me feel pressured to go to grad school. but what for? will someone please tell me what my mission in life is already? I currently have a great job that I love and co-workers that I adore. it's just that I hate being away from justin. jeez, life is frustrating.

time for current events with jeremy:

scott peterson. not one of the world's finer individuals. there's no true defense of cold blooded murder, certainly not under the circumstances in which he committed it. I'm sure that the majority is with me when I say that he is, in fact, a vile human being. I rejoiced when he was found guilty. although I'm vehemently against the death penalty, I can't muster up any sympathy for him. he's scum, vermin, a monster.

none of this changes the fact that he's hot.

go ahead. gasp, clutch your chest, think me a heartless son of a bitch. but somewhere deep down inside, you know it's true.

yeah, yeah. the bill's going to be "terminated." I get it, we ALL get it.

speaking of homos, I was driving home the other night and realized that I'd like to move to san francisco. right now. the crisp air, the great chinese food, and the stunning scenery would more than make up for the fact that the sidewalks roll up even earlier than they do here. I just have to convince justin, buy some trendy clothes so I won't feel underdressed, and find a job paying twice what I make now so I can afford to eat. then there's josh and rachel...well, I guess gso will have to do for now.

hard to believe that it'll soon be time to dry clean the old sweaters. strike me down if you want, but I'm so glad that summer's almost over. bearable temperatures, holidays, and--yes, that's right--movies that are worth watching. I've got an eye on the indies, you'd better believe it. if anyone gets to see either thumbsucker or junebug before I do, let me know how they are (note to shana: junebug = alessandro nivola. reason enough).

does anyone else find it disturbing/appalling that, despite the recent oil crisis, the wheels of nascar keep on turnin? on top of the obvious big issues that this nation has, these little issues just keep me convinced me that, across the pond, our british cousins are just shaking their heads in dismay in our general direction. of course, there's no need to look that far. I'm sure that the head shaking in canada has made the populace look like they're watching a tennis match. lucky bastards.