big news: changed shifts at work. I'm now a 7-3:30 employee. the extra hour in the evenings is nice, and there's some real closure in staying at the office until everything is done. and no more of that 5 o'clock friday crap.

I believe that I'm having some delayed aftereffects from the 2004 presidential election. until recently, my reaction was: "damn. bush won again." now, it's: "damn. bush won. again." what was left of my disappointment has turned into full blown dismay.

for anyone who's interested, my amazon.com wish list is posted just in time for Christmas--just search for jeremy ball (I'm the one in greensboro, duh). and please support triad health project: all you gotta do is, rather than going straight to amazon, go first to josh's blog and click on the amazon.com link on the right side. details of the fundraiser are also posted there. for all your holiday shopping needs.

by the way, how the hell did december get here so fast?

it's good to cry once in a while. right?

what I want for Christmas: a 9 to 5 job.

position: I dunno, whaddya got?

location: gso metro.

salary: $35000+

my resume: I have a nearly valueless B.A.; its primary use is to make people think that I know what I'm talking about. I'm a charismatic self-starter who's qualified for just about anything, provided that it's nothing. I do NOT have 2-5+ years of experience in "the field," and won't be able to get it unless some poor sucker hires me. I'm detail oriented when it suits me. I'm independent and have experience successfully delegating responsibility and managing task forces (read: I'm a pigheaded boob who doesn't play very well with others). my strong suit is my uncanny ability to consistently show up on time (give or take 10 minutes), do my job relatively well, and leave as quickly as possible.

please contact me for a copy of my portfolio. if you want one without mustard stains, give me a while.

and now: back to our jehosophats, who are really jumping!

the holiday has improved my outlook considerably, I must say. thanksgiving was marvelous, especially since justin was able to be there! a few days at home--and off work--have been just the thing for helping me chill out.

trips home always have an odd effect on me, though. being in my old room takes me back to being 7 or 8 years old or thereabouts, back when your parents took care of everything for you. when nothing was more complicated than figuring out how much to charge for a cup of lemonade. when you could say, "I'm going to be...when I grow up," and no one would laugh--because growing up was so far away it was easy to reach for the stars. it all just makes me think about where I have to go from here, where I can go from here. I really want to make 7-8 year old me proud, somehow.

it's time for a shower and a nice, lazy-yet-semi-productive sunday.

o.d. has put all the 6 o'clock folks on the 5 o'clock schedule for the rest of the month. as a result, the 18,956 things that I don't have time to do already aren't going to get done until december.

I have no money set aside to christmas shop. I have no money set aside for the house.

the apartment is a disaster. my cars are dirty and filled with junk.

I barely have time to eat anymore. when I do, it's usually fast food that is making me gain weight again.

I realized the other day that part of me was hanging in there waiting for some extended sort of vacation. real world update: I don't get those anymore.

my life has turned into one gigantic headache. stop the ride; I NEED to get off. at least for a little while.

notice a new link at the top of the page. click and see. as time permits, much more will be added. note: if there's anything there that your mother shouldn't see, feel free to drop me a line and it shall be eradicated.

news flash: once again, I have a functioning cell phone. same number. call, message, pester.

weekends rule. I'll just come and and say that without hesitation.

someone needs to buy me this. there's no price listed, but I'm sure it would be reasonable to ask for as a Christmas gift.

justin got the scorpion tattoo on thursday. if he gets any hotter he's going to spontaneously combust.

on that subject, I'd like to take this opportunity to send out a message to all the losers out there who've dicked me over in the past (sure, puns intended). upon comparing each of you to the current squeeze, I find that you all have several things in common: you're ugly, stupid, mean spirited, and generally quite lame. thank you so freakin much for giving me some of the most hellish moments of my life. I'm making time with the greatest guy in the world these days. since there can only be one, you obviously are not. eat it.

conversely, a shout out to the fellas who've done me right, and there are several of you: thanks for the memories. I'm sorry that things didn't work out; I still love y'all. some of you probably want to spit at me in the street, I admit--that you never have makes you paragons of human kindness. I hope that you're all living well. you give homos a good name.

I really like the phrase "half past give a damn." I'm also quite fond of "frumptious wheeze." even if they do have completely different connotations.

I think a great superpower to have would be the ability to predict when a radio station will play chaka khan. useful, and how!

man, picking up stakes and moving to vancouver really does look better every day.

I don't know how seriously to take this, but oh! the happiness.

it has always irked me that, when preparing oneself a pop tart, it is necessary to either eat two or clumsily attempt to reseal one within the foil wrapping. I have long been an advocate for individually wrapped pop tarts (if those loyal readers who know me well were unaware of this...well, it very rarely comes up).

perhaps, I've pondered, kellogg's simply expects their pastries to be so wonderful that the consumer can't eat only one. not only is that faulty logic, it signifies egotism on the part of the kellogg's company and a sadistic desire to contribute to the obesity problem in america.

I finally decided to research the matter. I discovered that kellogg's went out on a limb introducing pop tarts in 1962--there were serious doubts as to whether they would sell. to save money, they were packaged two to a wrapper. and still are.

my mind is at ease. however, when I began writing this I'd only eaten one pop tart. I fear that I must contradict myself and prepare the other posthaste.

heluva lot going on the past few days. halloween was...eventful. to chapel hill with justin and nadine--I dressed as ignatius reilly. I had a lot of captain morgan's. a whole lot. so much that, for the first time in my life, I began disrobing in public. apparently I decided to change my costume and go as "disheveled man." good times. I think.

went to concord/charlotte on saturday. spent an outrageous amount of money on a new suit, only to come to my senses and call nordstrom to return it before it was altered. also picked up some birthday presents for justin. oh, and ruined my new cell phone by dropping it into a cup of coffee. the trip was of questionable merit, although I did find a spaghetti measurer after months of searching, which made it all worthwhile. now to explain the phone to alltel...

I called in sick to work on tuesday. I really needed a day off to decompress and also to work around here; I've been feeling the need to stand in the middle of the apartment and scream. so the living room and kitchen are clean--and will stay that way, I'll be bound--and my bedroom is forthcoming.

I'm don't even want to comment on the election results. suffice it to say that I did my part, and will be doing my share of bitching for the next four years, thank you very much.

last night I dreamed an entire musical. it involved my going into eckerd, buying a chapstick and a roll of strawberry mentos, and getting into an argument with the cashier about my credit card. that was the basis for the whole thing. it was very dramatic.

it's a shame that it took john peel's death to call my attention to the undertones. that said, I've got some cd shopping to do today.

I had an unfortunate realization at carolina's this morning with nadine. being a friday late night, the place was jam packed with drunks, and there was an especially amusing booth behind us. they were having a conversation about sky bar, and some guy that they'd all met there. "he was not gay," one of the guys said. "he was wearing baggy clothes. gay people don't wear baggy clothes."

nadine and I looked at each other. then we looked at my sweater and jeans. and an epiphany! I like girls after all! none of this homo bullshit for me. the truth has been with me all along, in the generous cut of my garments, and I was too blind to see. all these years I've been living life as a spandex swishbuckler, when I've really been a saggin straight guy. time to hitch up my belt, revel in the acres of fabric swathing my testosterone laden, lady lovin bod, and pick me up some girls. or do I mean score some chicks? or procure some pussy?

idiots.

earlier today I headed to the dryer to get out some socks. before I knew what I was doing, I opened the fridge instead.

they weren't in there.

shawn colvin is releasing a greatest hits album.

huh?

dr teal's jasmine vanilla vapor bath is the greatest stuff ever.

stupid clouds, making everyone miss the lunar eclipse.

at least it's thursday.

john peel died. what a terrible loss. the music world will miss him deeply.

thppt. monday. humph. at least the weekend was a great one as they go. the barbecue festival was as festive as ever. and despite some major traffic problems, justin and I got to raleigh in time for dinner and to see jeff dunham at charlie goodnight's. quite funny indeed.

visiting with family in winston yesterday was nice, but the highlight of the weekend is most certainly willow! the new kitten has arrived, and I'll take photos to post asap. she's the cutest. she slept next to me all day. which will improve weekends indefinitely--I get the guy at night, and the cat during the day. sleeping alone is overrated.

eez time for shower and to pick up medicine.

grr. aargh. the past couple days have found me in some very obnoxious moods, ranging from depressed to annoyed to downright postal. you know those times when you look around your life, see it as a prison cell, and muscle up to the bars and yell "LEMME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!" yeah. perhaps it's the promise of the barbecue festival that has lightened my mood. at any rate, I'm now once again semi-sane.

this is where I have to interject that justin is perhaps the only aspect of my life that I tend to run to rather than away from. he's a saint to put up with me. hell, what I'm talkin? we're saints to put up with each other. a match made in heaven. heh. saints, heaven. I made a funny.

sunday I see the 'rents and granny and get my kitten! monday the new couch arrives. so many nice new things. well, my parents and grandmother certainly aren't new, but they're nice old things. um, that came out wrong. never mind.

did anyone see the video of fidel castro falling down a few days ago? I heard that he fell, and thought, "aw, shucks. that's too bad." then I saw the video. I'm sorry, but fuh-nee. he even knocked over some chairs, a la mary catherine gallagher. fidel castro, SUPERSTAR! I'm a mean person, but at least I know it.

P.S. have just learned that castro did in fact break some bones in the fall. dammit! why is it still funny? I'm going to hell.

maria shriver rules.

yeah, another monday rolls around. spent a nice/productive weekend cleaning 4109 and hanging out with some of justin's family in mount airy. also bought the sofa, but not the one I mentioned--I got to the store and realized that I hated it. so I found another, which will be here a week from tuesday. hooray for spending $900. time to crack open a savings account and start socking dough away for the house.

as much as it pains me to do it, I'm cancelling my netflix membership. I just don't have time to make use of it. oh, well.

so early voting got underway in palm beach county today, and issues have already arisen--as in paper ballots missing pages. other areas of florida have experienced computer glitches in the voting process. dammit people, get it together already.

oh, and if you're a friend of mine named chris and you left your number on my windshield today: sorry to have to ask, but which chris are you exactly? gotta narrow it down for me.