grievance to air: I found out why I STILL haven't gotten my employee number at work yet. in spite of the fact that I told the idiots at medzone that I take adderall, my drug screening still came back positive for amphetamines. they referred the results to their cmo out in the midwest somewhere. they sat on it for weeks and finally called me today to get the scoop. long story short, the error has been corrected and I should be official o.d. next week. so annoying.

yet another grievance: my paycheck didn't come today. aroo? guess I'll have to give united staffing a ring.

finally heard the strokes' new single today (I imagine I'm the last person in the hemisphere). it's like they're trying to sound like the postal service trying to sound like the velvet underground (although I naturally hold the latter two bands in higher esteem). if it's any indication of the album, it sounds like their sound has "evolved" enough to keep the critics happy but doesn't stray so much from the old fomula as to alienate loyal fans. my prediction: room on fire will outsell is this it. hell, I'll probably end up buying it myself.

immaturity in the workplace: several of us sat around on the 12:30 break discussing at some length what a great butt scott has. following him back into the building, laughter was stifled with much difficulty. funny. middle school, but funny.

get ready, all ye nyc peeps--preparations are underway for a trip to the big apple in about 6 weeks. this time I PROMISE to try and see everyone I need to see! tiffany, shana, becka, et al. you know who you are.

and now, to ingest many calories that will go straight to my hips as I sleep.

got off work early and still have bit of energy. first I went to wal mart. warning--"jeremy is evil"alert: after picking up about $50 worth of useless crap to buy, I came to my senses and abandoned my cart and left (after skimming the latest spin cover to cover). I know it's awful to just leave merch around the store, but honestly...it's wal mart. I just can't feel remorse. I just feel glad that I was able to curb my spending; lately I've been throwing money away most awfully.

I'm currently simmering a pot of chicken tikka masala on the stove. 4109 has never smelled so heavenly. speaking of 4109, anyone have any sure-fire ways to get rid of fleas? josh and I are clean and decent people. we don't deserve this.

I dreamed last night that I was being violently accosted by randall flagg (the "dark man" from the stand) when I suddenly realized, "hey, this is my dream. I don't have to put up with this shit." with a flourish superman himself swooped down to rescue me, promptly flying me to hogwarts castle where madam pomfrey healed my wounds and harry potter looked on. wouldn't it be nice if we had that kind of control over real life? hey, it'd be nice if we usually had that kind of control over dreams.

guilford pals, take note: I was bored enough last night to watch an episode of "the love boat." one of the guest stars looked so much like jeff jeske (or lady elaine, if you will) that I briefly wondered if it actually somehow was. but the voice wasn't quite right and the teeth were all wrong. still, I wish I'd taped it to show everyone.

random observation: any sentence that contains both the words "homosexual" and "oldsmobile" is going to be confusing.

I just took a break from writing to check on the tikka masala, and I find myself returning to the keys having eaten half of it. I shall bury my face in shame in my pillows.

another week passes. it was one of the strangest I've had post-guilford, to be sure. tuesday night the computers at work crashed around 12:30. amid promises that they would be up and running shortly, we had to stick around...until 4:30, when they still weren't up. hey, we didn't care. we still got paid, and I got to meet some of my more bizarre co-workers--people who wear pajamas to work and sing children's songs while their busty co-horts discuss their sex toys so loudly that people in salisbury must have blushed. I loved it!

the hurricane: man, what a let down. other than standing outside in a little wind and rain to grab a quick smoke, it might have been just another rainy night. but I guess I should be glad that it wasn't the apolcalypic event we'd all been anticipating.

tonight I went to see anything else, the new woody allen flick, with the heathers and gary (heather #2's boyfriend, aka "the cute short guy who works at tate st. coffee"). it doesn't touch the fabulousness of his earlier movies, but he comes closer than he has in quite a while. it's kind of a reworked annie hall, but in a way that's incredibly refreshing given the mediocrity of his recent work. go see it.

talked to tiffany for an hour and a half tonight; a nice chat that also served as a reminder of our plans to relocate together next summer, hopefully with ali in tow. my sanity depends on this idear panning out at least a little. it's sad, but I'm just not brave enough to strike out completely on my own, even if I will be headed back to school. part of my reason for staying so downtrodden here is being lonely, and I don't want to get stuck in a frying pan vs. fire scenario. I wish I had the intellectual capability to be a misanthrope. alas, tis not for me.

haven't written since the jay farrar show. so wonderful. "windfall" made me cry--a concert first for me. several shows coming up that I can actually go to, which is a miracle.

soon's my laundry's done I'm off to bed. I made a daring impulse purchase at wal-mart the other day: new pillows. a great idea, but it makes being in bed that much more attractive.

observations:

if you're going to have the bad taste to ride in the bed of a pickup, you should at least look happy to be there.

"wooly bully" (by sam the sham and the pharoahs, of course) is one of mankind's highest cultural achievements.

60s beach movies: so awful that they're wonderful.
surrealist films: so wonderful that they're awful.
80s teen flicks: isn't it awful how wonderful they really are?
cheaply made horror flicks: isn't it wonderful how awful they really are?

grapefruit juice has a horrible aftertaste.

as a Christian respectful of non-Christians, group prayer makes me uncomfortable (case in point: last night's 9/11 memorial gathering at o.d.).

all coffeemakers should be named barney. I have logic, but don't feel like explaining it.

I wonder if this is true--
new york:chicago::barcelona:madrid?
it seems like it would be.

the adjective I'm least impressed by: very
the adjective I'm most impressed by: green eyeshade ("In a speech in Iowa broadcast on C-SPAN Thursday, Dean elaborated on his green-eyeshade economics.")

I think that if someone gave me a fruit roll-up the size of arizona, I'd be able to eat it. thankfully I'll never have to find out.

glory be, my internet is actually working! well, it works sometimes, but never when I want to write in this thing. big stuff afoot since last entry:

very very good news: I got my hiring papers from o.d., which means I get officially hired on by the company (with an itty bitty raise) next week. no more faxing time cards into united staffing, plus I get kickass health insurance and a little more job security than I've got right now, which is great.

very very bad news: no radio show for me this semester. I gave naman/andy every slot that I could possibly do--admittedly not many--but apparently none of them were available. that's what I get for actually having to work for a living and not being a collegiate bum anymore. I'm trying not to be a big baby about it, but I haven't listened to qfs since I got the news. well, I'll get over it.

so there's this guy...joe, yeah that's it...who has excellent taste in music. in fact, he and I share the same favorite band. said band's new album isn't coming out for quite a while yet, but has been rawther extensively leaked as it turns out. joe downloads album. joe is at first a bit confused by his fave band's different stylings on this record. but the more he listens, the more he likes until the album takes over his car stereo. joe listens happily day in and day out, thinking about how the indie scene may well be stood on its ear once the lp hits the shelves.

hey! I am NOT joe! I don't participate in music piracy! dirty! bad!

moving on, I've got to start getting to bed earlier so I can catch dallas reruns on soapnet. in fact, that's where I'm headed now.

I hate roadrunner internet. hatehatehatehatehate. hate. I had a big fat post all ready when my connection bleeped off for the bajillionth time today. I explained mysteries of the universe previously incomprehensible to those lacking my advanced and cultivated worldview. rather than do so again, I advise you to take an online quiz that could offer you beautiful ego boosting like this:



Congratulations! You managed to finish this test. Sure, it was only 10 questions, but we know the dim lighting in your parents' basement can make you sleepy. Even though you're not exactly a model for hard-core career motivation, your friends and loved ones adore you just the same for your charming personality and comic wit. (Your significant other even adored you four times in one night--and that's a job to be proud of.)

Which Buffy character are you?

can't believe I'm awake and didn't even bother to drive into the surrounding countryside to check out mars.

I drove a little aimlessly on my way home tonight, across 311 through downtown high point and on through jamestown. it didn't even occur to me until I was almost there that I was very near the u.s. 29 underpass...home of lydia. for those of you unfamiliar with the legend, it's said that the underpass (or rather, the ruins of the old nearby underpass) is haunted by the ghost of a girl killed there in 1926. many men have claimed to have stopped for a well dressed hitchhiking girl there and dropped her off in town, only to see her disappear. supposedly lydia only appears to men driving alone at night. I wasn't in quite the right area...but it's not too awfully out of my way, is it? morbid curiosity...

catherine and michelle are threatening to fix me up on dates with their various hommasexshul friends. I don't know what to think about that. all joking aside, it's not like being single is miserable. who would want to date me with my schedule anyway?

I really need to start dieting. but here's how my diet logic works:

1) buy groceries.
2) when 50% of groceries are gone, look at remainder and say, "damn. I need to stop eating crap. I'm going on a diet! but I won't waste food; I'll finish what's in the cabinets first."
3) cabinets emptied. by this time, motivation to start diet is gone. "fuck it," I think resignedly.
4) return to step 1.

I should at least use my exercise bike for something other than a coat rack.

I should also attempt to curb my sleeping--9 and 10 hours a day is a bit excessive. I'm not sick or depressed to my knowledge, just perpetually tired. and sleeping so much leaves me time for absolutely nothing but work. I don't even have a spare few minutes to waste at tate street anymore.

well, I need to stop all this kvetching. it's officially wednesday--payday eve, a holiday celebrated with much mirth at o.d. viva los paychecks!

all familial visits this weekend went well. josh's 'rents came up yesterday with his friend patrick and took the lot of us (brynn was here, natch) out to harper's. my own came down today with gran and I took us all to sapporo. felt nice to actually buy my parents dinner instead of the other way round. today was extra-special-super nice cuz I went to bb's and bought all the real girls (overpriced at $22) AND a used dvd copy of cecil b demented (steal at $8).

tonight was the first official wqfs meeting as well. for those of you unaware, the princeton review has ranked our little college radio station #4 in america. damn. that rules. anyway, being on campus now is very peculiar. sort of like...well, starting a new year at guilford when I'm not supposed to be. not bad, necessarily, just...naughty somehow. I can't explain it well. eh.

it has come to my attention of late that I need to decide just what the hell I'm doing. I've always had some aim or goal, even if it wasn't one that entered my conscious thought that often. graduating high school, graduating college, both of those done. my goal since may has been to prove to myself/everyone else that I can be self supporting. aside from my car payment (admittedly my major upkeep expense), I'm doing a fair job of that and will hopefully continue to do so. so point proven. now what? film school? law school? clown college? what? my mind is stagnating with lack of purpose. it's not that I need to move forward right away. I just need to know where I'm going when I do move. new project: evaluating options. anticipated completion date: soon, I hope.

as much a part of that decision as my schooling will be where I relocate to and with whom. if only ali, tiffany, and I could all take off for the same metro area. oh, and beckajamesheathergabejosh should also go. anyway, I haven't dropped the idear of just going down the road to winston to n.c.s.a. and keeping my job at o.d. for a bit. only their film school program is strictly tracked. read: probably wouldn't even get my 2nd bachelor's til I turn 25-26. but I saw an ad for a reasonably priced, renovated historic apartment on fourth street near the stevens center yesterday...just what I'd want. so even if I stay in nc, I can still be an art fop. that's a comfort.

enough aimless groping. I'm going to be "one of those people" tonight and hang out with folks on campus. well, as long as I don't start keeping a toothbrush there.

yes, I got the donuts. and watched an episode of buffy. very nice bedtime activities.

lots of bats hang around the lights outside my workplace. they swoop down to snatch the insects. tonight, this thought: "the bats darted and plunged like sewing machine needles gone horribly awry." a terrible analogy, but a funny one.

tonight was the o.d. employee appreciation cookout. very amusing to see a member of the conklin family dishing out chili. sort of a "real world" equivalent of don mcnemar--or kent chabotar, for you younger generation--carving turkey at guilford's thanksgiving dinner.

new adjective: "tranquilocrity." tranquility + mediocrity. in my mind, the two often go hand in hand. sort of like my life at the moment. peaceful and serene, but nothing special.

question: will I be labeled a shameless fop if I do end up moving to nyc, going to film school, and living in williamsburg? I most certainly will. but it sounds like such a good idea.

best physical sensation caused by food: taking a gulp of a cold beverage on a hot day and feeling it go down into your stomach.

worst physical sensation caused by food (excluding stomach/intestinal ailments): pizza cheese burns in your mouth.

word to the wise. by that I mean, "what's up, smart people?"

last and most likely least, a recipe for an excellent energy booster: stir one packet of swiss miss hot chocolate mix (or brand of your choice) into an 8 ounce cup of strong black coffee. stir. drink. ponder life's mysteries. climb walls.

can I just say how nice it is to be on the internet in my own home? for those of you who are interested, I am, in fact, stark raving naked. they don't like it in bauman if I go in without clothing. anyway, roadrunner rocks my lame ass, as does the wireless lan that josh and I set up ourselves. no cables for me; it all comes and goes through a cute little antenna. big whoop, I know, but I find it exciting.

digital cable is a lot of fun too. in demand episodes of monty python on bbc america are the shit. I can watch blancmanges play tennis whenever I feel like it!

my hours have not improved since carra's departure, only my boredom. I was thinking earlier: I've been blessed with many wonderful people in my life, but once in a while you run across someone that you connect with in a way that's entirely unique and makes the relationship completely and utterly irreplaceable. I think I've only had...um...four of those in my lifetime. carra's one. as for the others, I'll just let y'all wonder.

I think I'd enjoy a new boyfriend. applicants please apply in person on the corner of lee street and silver avenue on friday and/or saturday nights. bring cash. seriously, a nice fella would perk life up a bit. anyone ever watch the dick van dyke show? remember sally rogers and her constant search for "a nice fella?" my outlook on dating is totally sally rogers-core.

reminder: wish josh a happy 22nd birthday on thursday, and wish my mom a happy 29th on saturday. yes, my mother is in fact 29 years old. we get started early in dubya-vee-ay.

I really, really want some krispy kreme. and they open in 20 minutes...

gaaa. stupid thunderstorms in tennessee. lightning put the morristown area phone lines out of commission--hence, old dominion's terminal there went night-night early. us high point folks had to stay late, as did the good people of salt lake city, to finish what they couldn't. long story short, I didn't get off work until 4:45. I swear paper clips were moving across my desk around 4. but I love me some overtime pay.

internet and cable will be coming to 4109 on monday. josh and I are each ponying up around $50 to enable said technology...sigh. my financial situation has begun to look grim of late. I've accrued a lot of unexpected expenses this month. but I get irritated listening to other people bitch about finances. so I'll stop.

carra leaves the homestead for the greener grass of guilford this weekend; it will be quite an adjustment for both of us. I'm going to have to actually buy buffy dvds. if I don't come in from work and watch at least one episode, I feel all weird. and I do so like the episodes with seth green. gee. wonder why.

going to winston tomorrow--er, today--with josh and brynn to see the david byrne exhibit at secca and he loves me, he loves me not at the stevens center. because, once in a while, it's fun to turn into a complete fop. I'm tempted to buy a pack of cloves to take.

I reread a wrinkle in time. honestly, it's not one of my favorite young adult books, but it was very enjoyable and I plan to finally read the other two. my favorite part: when mrs. whatzit is describing the power that people have over their respective fates. lives, she says, are like sonnets. we're given a strict form to go by, a form that's unchangable. but within the parameters of that form, we can express ourselves however we choose. we can live as we choose. it's a simple thing, but think about it: that freedom is simultaneously the most wonderful and frightening thing in the world. we write, we revise, we crumple, and we write some more. just one. big. sonnet.

I like that.

a swell weekend, this. didn't go to bed after friday's work (got off at 4:15 sat. morning) and spend yesterday being cracked out. I made the best dvd purchase ever: the new special edition of valley girl. I was so inspired by its eighties-ness that I went out in seek of 80s-core red suspenders. I got them, along with a pair of truly vintage reebok pump sneakers. last night went to a show with josh and brynn...unfortunately I still don't know whom we saw; it was a free show at gate city. but one of the two bands was quite good.

coffee/dinner/barnes and noble with heather today. after 2 1/2 years of her living there, I finally saw her apartment. I wish I had her craftiness; I felt more at home there than I do in 4109. very quirky yet tasteful.

not that 4109 feels like home much anymore anyway. carra's friend charlie showed up in gso on thursday--she told him that he could use the apartment to shower and stuff while living in our apartment parking lot in his van. okay. charlie's a hell of a nice guy and having him around that much really isn't that bothersome. and I love carra too much to get all militant about it. but...damn, it would have been nice if she had consulted josh and I (aka we who pay rent) beforehand. and the whole place is just so filled with junk and people lying around that I find every excuse not to be there. it really sucks to feel like you don't have any control over what goes on in your own apartment, in your own home. home should be a place to escape to, not from. well, it's just until saturday.

tonight's the first wqfs meeting of the fall. can't wait to have a show again. what with working nights I don't have much of an outlet for my hipsterness anymore.

quite a lot going on, but all that's on tap for this week is a trip to the garage for cedric. he needs some new oil and his squeaky brakes tended to. I know. how fascinating.

'bout time to head on over to founders. support your local independent radio stations! not only are they the lifeblood of the airwaves, they're also the harvard of berea. never mind. just smile and nod.

nothing exciting. but sometimes you need to type. why, pray tell, after nine hours of typing at work do I need to type? I dunno. I never make sense.

I'm slowly but surely turning into a complete geek. not a nerd--that would be all right--but a geek. I listen to npr on my way to work. I keep track of my finances on a series of meticulously maintained spreadsheets; we're talking about stuff as small as 20 cents for a drink at work. I've started thinking of anyone under 21 years of age as "a kid" and chalking any of their behavior that displeases me up to their "lack of maturity." I imbibe gallons of coffee with my thirtysomething co-workers (alas, we have no water cooler to stand around) and discuss the weather and taxes and shoe stores.

know what, though? I don't mind it. I'm still as crazy as ever. that's what really counts.

bought the new pornographers' electric version today. it's quite good, in that rock-ought-to-be-fun sort of way that has always appealed to me. it's been a long time, though, since I've bought an album that I've really and truly been stoked about, though. I'd like like to discover a new personal belle and sebastian/rilo kiley/dcfc, although at the risk of seeming even more like an old fart I've been itching to beef up my jazz collection. we'll see what my budget will allow, which won't be too much.

carra had to have a root canal today. she's been consigned to the couch by darvoset, cuddling her ice pack like the breast of a much loved woman. well, a much loved woman who's fun to rub against your jaw.

I'm worried about dad. his job situation is beginning to look unstable. after over 20 years in the coal biz he and mom are accustomed to some instability, but I still fret.

speaking of jobs, at my workplace eric has been fired, adding to the list of casualties. I began work as a member of an eight person team...we're now whittled down to four (two quit, two terminated). tonight scott was telling me about having to dispose of eric (he missed more than his quota of sick days) and I told him, "um, scott? you know if you need any filing cabinets moved you can call me, right? car washed? first born child?" apparently I'm in good standing. and he doesn't want kids.

it's getting right about breakfast time, kiddos. I'm still caffeinated, so I think I'll go make some biscuits and gravy to have for breakfast with josh before he heads off to school. I love my weird hours.

I'm on a mexican, whoa oh, radio.

what a rainy night in the boro. forrest gump was right; it does seem to come up from underneath sometimes. wonder what this bodes for winter?

went with carra and emily last night to see a concert--katherine whalen (former lovely lady of the squirrel nut zippers) and the jazz squad in raleigh. I think it was the best weekend night I've had since graduation. we chugged tequila in the car before going into the amphitheater, and so were a bit incoherent upon meeting the lovely miss whalen after her gorgeous performance. then, instead of watching chicago where it was being shown on the lawn, we went and hung out with some fellow cig smokers on a terrace above everyone else. this one guy, zachariah, was insanely cute in the coolest possible way, but ended up being so lame that carra and I discussed his lameness right in front of him and his friends. but everyone was still very amusing, especially with the tipsy factor. a late night dash into the cosmic cantina and back home.

josh is all settled in. the apartment looks a bit like the set of sanford and son: every corner is filled with stuff belonging to one of the three of us. until carra moves back onto campus, I've just resigned myself to 4109 looking like a demilitarized zone. it's actually really fun so far living with both of them, though. kind of like a really twisted version of three's company. if only don knotts popped in once in a while.

I'm so disappointed about ali not making it back to guilford this fall. at least she's coming for a visit. it's hard enough when the person who encompasses at least 50% of your social life leaves for a short time; even worse when the time gets longer. but I'm being selfish. we've gotta do what we've gotta do.

josh and I went to tripp's tonight for dinner, the first time for each of us. mmm. good. pricey, but good.

I'm a complete dumbass for not doing any shopping this weekend, what with it being tax free and all. I really need some new things.

having devoted the entirety of today to laundry and meaningless quips, I've neglected my grocery shopping. time to go to wal-mart.

oh, and:


"You're as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly.
If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take
it!" Okay, so you're not a Homer Simpson
quote, but you are said by Grampa Simpson.
You're a piece of advice said to Homer on his
first day of school. You're just pretty much
out there, and a lousy parent at that. But
you're old and senile anyway. Go back into your
coma.


Which Advice Quote said by Homer Simpson are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

just back from taking james to a luxuriously trendy lunch at ganache to celebrate his graduation this evening. sure hope he gets a job in the boro so he can make it back on a permanent basis!

my new favorite phrase: "wholly unconcerned." I think that many of my issues with people can be chalked up to how wholly unconcerned they are. an old inside joke phrase remembered today: "sturdy peasant stock." I hope that I don't look like I come from sturdy peasant stock, but I very well might.

raise the alarm. I'm out of adderall and my prescrip is a.w.o.l. time to ransack 4109.

I'm putting my budget into effect on monday, which means this weekend I have to blow some frivolous money. I'm passing through durham on saturday, which means a trip to southpoint is in order for that purpose. nordstrom, pottery barn, and banana republic are gonna love me. well, they'll at least like me. I can't blow that much.

on my way back from wv I finally gave the decemberists' castaways and cutouts a thorough listen. my opinion: on the surface they have an excellent, well developed sound ("cocoon" is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard), but lyrically I have to take some issue with them--actually, a lot. it sounds like colin meloy went by barnes & noble, picked up an sat study guide, and said, "hey! let's see how many of these vocab words I can work into a song. hell, how about every song!" come now, mr. meloy. did you really think that mentioning catacombs and petticoats would dupe hipsters into thinking that your songs actually mean anything? well...in light of the stellar reviews given to this record, I guess he did. I genuinely enjoy hearing the decemberists. I'm just a little so-so about listening to them.

I'm in bauman, naturally, and the girl next to me is totally looking up stuff about freemasons. that's some scurry shit.

I really ought to run back by the apartment. when I left carra was lying on the living room floor, and I was in too much of a hurry to ascertain why. hope it's not lumbago. lumbago'll getcha every time.

the mountain air has prompted me to spew forth still more random bushwah:

molly ringwald would have much more appeal if the media referred to her in thick german accents as "fraulein ringwald." actually, it'd be nice if the media referred to her at all.

I've been having many dreams lately involving bathtubs, for no reason that I can fathom. although I think that dream dictionaries are ridiculous and hokey, I had to look this up. apparently it signifies being preoccupied with a member of the opposite sex--or, for me I suppose, the same sex. I don't feel preoccupied. hmm.

as much as I dis bluefield, there's always been some unidentifiable thing about it that makes me happy. yesterday I realized what it is. the sun shines brighter here. I can't explain it. not only is the sun brighter, colors are more vivid. I'm sure it's all in my imagination, but college avenue seems a helluva lot more visually alive than brassfield road.

although speaking of dissing bluefield, can you believe that there exists not a single establishment in a town of 15,000 people where a person can go to fax a document? well, I felt like going to blacksburg for coffee anyway.

turning to page 653 of the stephen king collection four past midnight brings one into the novella "the sun dog." two references are made to john delevan's car, a ford. on 655, the car is referred to as a chevy. I'm getting sick and tired of inconsistencies in literature. don't even get me started on harry potter. much as I love 'em...holes. full of holes. if the prospect of getting an english degree didn't make me want to drink iodine, I'd become an editor.

on a final note, if gilbert godfrey and fran drescher ever had a child, it would have the most beautiful voice in the world. for some reason, it would just work that way.

a late night stop by bauman on my way home. I'm pissy because I only got 45 min of overtime at work tonight versus the 90 min that some people are racking up as I type. dwanna quit though, yay! she was really starting to annoy me. and, all things considered, anyone who bitches about nc having just moved from wv is probably a trifle off the latch.

also, time to comprehensively list the funny things that have come up at work: berea, sepulveda boulevard, medicine balls, nathan lane (a street by that name), guam (repeatedly brought up by michelle), a company that's just called "grainger," the mendenhall school of auctioneering, the big chair and the TWO big dressers (there are two?)...there are more, but they escape me. and of course they're all things that only I and my non-co-worker cohorts can appreciate.

I find myself getting weirder by the day, and poor carra's getting the brunt of it. she's had to listen to my rants about the improper assignment of the word "lodger" and why tapioca is confrontational. we also had a great conversation about possible superhero powers. in addition to bryan's "no reservation man" we came up with the ability to stop ceiling fans, to turn into hitler upon entering a car dealership, to force people to buy you culottes (that's mine) and to identify harvey keitel (that's hers). also, richie zweigenhaft can make people go to the left and emily stewart can--of course--make people believe that they are silly fashion rabbits.

charles called to apologize via voice mail. I must endeavor to ring him up tomorrow and say "well...okay."

josh stopped by today; he was in town to have dinner with kelly. I almost missed him, though, as I was in the shower when the doorbell rang. dammit, I've got to stop staying in bed all day. well, for the first time in my life I can at least justify it.

had a lot of nervous energy last night and drove to sheetz for an mto. why does the closest sheetz have to be in virginia? worse than that, why is their food so dangerously addictive? mmm...buffalo chicken. ate my cup o' fryz driving back to gso and watching the sunrise.

I neglected to mention that carra has taken the baby and gone home to mother. read: she and fanny are at home in alabama until tomorrow, have been there since saturday. it sho has been a quiet week with even the cat gone. although it's given me time to bond with my new pet. he's a fish. a betta. his name's caspian. I like caspian. but honestly, how much can you (legally) bond with a fish?

visiting the 'rents this weekend is a definite. mom has promised dinner at cuz's on saturday. let's hear it for restaurants housed in converted dairy barns!

let's hear it for letting! let's hear it for us! let's hear it for it! let's...jeez, I need help.

another week drawn to a close. nothing fascinating to relate, really. the job is going quite well. next week I start working overtime, but for $15 an hour I won't complain too much.

I may be going home next weekend, depending on whether or not the following monday will be a good time to go to the dmv about my tags. woo. exciting.

oh, but this is exciting...got a nice little package in the mail on wednesday. yup, bartleby has arrived! I've watched it several times already, naturally, and it keeps getting better. although watching it before work is probably a bad idea...

charles has decided that he hates me, for no immediate reason other than I let our engagement slip on sunday. he harbors so much resentment for me; it's really unfair. I understand that ending our relationship hurt him, but that doesn't make me a bad person. I feel that I can say these things honestly about myself: I'm a good and loyal friend, a generous person, and emotionally supportive to those close to me. I don't think that any of my friends or family would deny that. charles is so wrapped up in my not wanting to be around him every second that he's become blinded to any good qualities that I--and our friendship--have. but if he's going to be that immature and petty about things, I guess we're better off keeping to ourselves. although I am disappointed that I'm no longer appointed the best man at snow white and the raptor's wedding. sigh.

I want to take advantage of my night off by being social. time to get on the phone and pester people to that effect.

zzz...zzz...spent four hours cleaning up the grossness that 4109 had become, made a teeter run, now I'm on my way home to get some shuteye. carra and emily are out--emily came for a visit, but is having bad cramps that sound like appendicitis, so it was off to wesley long with them. sure hope she's ok.

had coffee with the heathers at tate street today. found out that heather #1 makes $13.50/hr at wrangler. that's quite good, but as she doesn't have a roommate to share expenses with I imagine we're on similar economic footing. made me feel good about my job.

all the real girls was even better a second time, if that's possible. and I love the neighborhood in w-s that the stevens center's in; hundreds of people mill around a couple of charming square blocks downtown at night, going to clubs and sidewalk cafes. I thought we'd warped time and space and wound up in europe somehow. next month audrey tatou's latest film is playing there. although it got mixed reviews, I'm totally gonna go.

I was supposed to go hiking with charles today and overslept. then we were supposed to watch a video and I got preoccupied. he probably hates me, but I really do appreciate him as a friend. it's just tough to give everyone the time I know they deserve when I work all week, get tired out, and sleep all weekend. hopefully I'll start to manage my time more effectively soon. it's like I told carra the other night: routines can suck, but at least when you have set times to do the shit you don't wanna do you know when you'll be able to do the shit you do wanna do. that doesn't make much sense when I look at it, but it worked for carra when I said it.

I came into this computer lab instead of the other to avoid talking to fernando, dammit, then he comes in here and gets all up in my kool-aid. whafuck?

anyway, I've got sushi to eat before slumbering.