a list of bests

best doctor's office reading ever: harmonizer, the official magazine of the barbershop harmony society. I don't know how it wound up in the waiting room of lebauer healthcare, but I'm glad that it did.

best create your own pasta combo at macaroni grill: bowtie pasta, garlic cream sauce, green onions, sundried tomatoes.

best lemonade based alcoholic beverage: venetian lemonade at the aforementioned establishment.

best thing to ever happen to me at jiffy lube: getting a free oil change because it took twenty (gasp!) whole minutes.

you know, today was a pretty good day.

ah! nothing like coming home from a hard night's work to...house cleaning. it's a little known fact that the man who originated the phrase "it's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it" was also a prognosticator. yep, he could see right into 2004-era 4109. however, it should noted that he couldn't see himself in anything here--floors, windows, mirrors...

life-affirming moment of the day: reading that phish just played their last show. ever.

I'm by no means an ageist, nor do I routinely make superficial judgements. that said, old fat guys need to not hit on me.

have put on no less than seven pounds. kit kats have become too much of a guiding force in my life. must stop the insanity. remember susan powter? most people seem to have forgotten her, poor thing.

the teenage and twenty-something guys of america really need to stop trying to look like johnny knoxville. there's a lot to be said for the man himself, but as a mainstream look it's gettin old.

why aren't there many songs written about ships anymore? I think it's a shame. come to think of it, trains don't get sung about much either these days. the world's songwriters need to start giving mass transportation props again.

someone needs to randomly give me $35,000. that's about the difference between what I can afford to spend on a place to live and the cost of one of the new lofts at smothers place downtown. grr. well, the planned purchase is still almost a year away. anything could happen.

recalling an excellent observation bryan and I made some years ago: any food that can't be improved by adding peanut butter can be improved with barbecue sauce. the two magic culinary liquids.

great visit with tiffany this weekend. just BARELY got her to raleigh on time for her plane; the continental desk people were none too nice about it, either. in fact, I've never seen anyone less suited to dealing with the public than the personnel at that airport--the security people were just as bad. if anyone reading this can avoid flying out of rdu, please do so. gso might be pricier to fly from, but you don't get treated like a second class citizen.

anyway, she's off to seattle. am I sorry I'm not going with her? no. I'd love to live with her in a spiffy city like that, but I'd just have to give up too much. for her it's a great idea; she's got nothing to keep her anywhere else. but I've made a life for myself here. I may bitch about it to no end, but it's comfortable and familiar. although there are certain aspects of my circumstances that I'd like to change, I thank God for the others every day. if that makes me stodgy and lacking in adventure, then maybe I am. or maybe I'm just all grown up.

bought a pocket watch today. just the thing for a weak-wristed typist who enjoys looking quirky yet fashionable.

at nadine's recommendation, I've been reading good omens by neil gaiman and terry pratchett. I don't know when I've been given a better book to read. hi-larious.

progress on furniture: have found very possible sofa and chair for very reasonable price. progress on car repair: none. the neon green paint remains. must call tomorrow for estimate.

I've got errands to run. given the BEST WEATHER EVER we've had lately, it's happy miata time.

I think that collecting kites is one of the most romantic things I've ever heard of.

on my way home tonight I heard "like a rolling stone" on the radio. for the first time in at least ten years, it didn't make me feel nostalgic or melancholy. is that a good thing? or am I losing touch with who I used to be?

the search for new furniture begins tomorrow. I'm thinking sofa and armchair in contrasting browns, cushy enough to be comfortable but not so puffy as to look trailer-trashy.

excitement for the week: got cedric's oil changed. as per usual, jiffy lube got it done in about five minutes...but didn't tell me it was ready for twenty more. if I hadn't said, "uh, is my car finished?" I could still be sitting there. yep, two days later. you never know.

I bought a magnifying mirror the other day. I'm pretty sure it was one of the gayest things I've ever done.

cigarettes are so gross. I have to stop smoking. note that I didn't say I will stop smoking. but I might.

when I'm supreme ruler of the universe--it won't be long now--I'm starting a harem composed of celebrity guys 5'9" and under. amongst others, seth green, tobey maguire, and the aforementioned scott caan should start packing their bags immediately. tiffany is reserving men over six feet, and ali has dibs on the 5'10"-6'0" bracket. no one is safe from us.

the sun is a risin' and I've started looking at my bed more often than my monitor. peace out.

got tickets to see franz ferdinand at the cradle!  life is good.

I KNOW they're on automatic timers and all that nonsense, but I hate driving home on rainy nights and seeing sprinklers going full blast.  what's worse is when they're continously watering the road instead of the grass.  that's inexcusable.

 
I have a theory that everyone should have a friend named rhoda; I'm sad that I don't.  but if everyone felt this way, then parents the world over would start naming their daughters (and sons, for that matter) rhoda so that they'd have friends.  and really sucky people would start changing their names to rhoda as well.  the cachet of the name would be gone.

therefore, I'm glad that more people don't think like me.

random moment at work: nadine going on a rant about tipper gore that culminated with a proposal to fry her up and eat her for dinner.  you kinda had to be there.

ten things I learned on my spur-of-the-moment trip to d.c. this weekend:
 
1) ritz-carltons really are very cushy hotels.
2) despite my dislike for northern virginia as a whole, drivers there are actually quite courteous (they even signal to merge.  north carolinians, take note).
3) every painting by modigliani at the national gallery is currently in storage.  bet he's turning over in his grave.
4) for some reason, d.c. theaters tend not to start movies between 9 and 10 pm.
5) on occasion, metro cars are completely filled with a single southern family consisting of around 30 loud people that have about 10 teeth between them (and one disdainful homosexual with most of his intact).
6) although classy and intoxicating, cognac is gross.
7) I dig feather beds.
8) the beltway isn't as bad as I've been led to believe (well, not on a weekend anyway).
9) ikea no longer makes the knopf table lamp.
10) when in the throes of the second half of an all-nighter, I find hare krishnas inappropriately funny.

oh, and I didn't make this an item because its weird enough to deserve a separate mention: over thai food last night I joked (with james) that, with so much fragile kitchen stuff in my trunk, it would be just my luck to get rear ended on the drive home.

I did.

however, the driver of the vehicle was very apologetic and damage to my vehicle (cedric, thankfully, not ophelia) is minor.  no broken ikea glassware, either.  damage to myself: nil.  oh, wait--I mean TERRIBLE!  yes, the whiplash is awful and I must now sue for many thousands of dollars!

any ambulance chasers reading this?

gracious me!  sofia coppola and quentin tarantino are dating?  I don't know what to think.

speaking of filmmakers, I think I came across as a real asshole at work tonight for defending woody allen a little too vehemently against some critics.  but it's not my fault that people are stupid.

and as a final word on the subject of hollywood, I've decided to be annoyed with scott caan.  I realized that, although no one man embodies my physical ideal, he's awfully close (for those who aren't aware, short, dark haired, muscle-y guys are my type).  but he has this bad habit of being in either lame "guy movies" or artsy flicks too obscure even for me.  I'm tired of gazing longingly at still photos; he needs to do moving things that I can enjoy.  wow, did that come out wrong...wait, no it didn't.

admitting a weakness for fun, old fashioned, good pop music is nothing to be ashamed of.  as such, I'd like to highly recommend the cardigans' back catalog.  first band on the moon is such a great record, but from what I've heard of life it's even better.  and can I find it anywhere in greensboro?  hell no.  guess half.com can get some more of my business.

finally saw office space.  pretty good.  the similarities to my daily routine are pretty crazy.  there's a woman in the ratings department whom I've really begun to worry about; I think she might set the building on fire someday.

think I'll lie down and concentrating on digesting my waffle house and slim jim dinner.

ever drink pomegranate juice?  as I just discovered, it's good.  but damnably expensive.
 
at work I'm moving into an actual cubicle, which is very exciting (until now I've just had a sort of desk with built in walls).  I need to think of things to get agitated about so I can pace back and forth between partitions.
 
I'd like to nominate don henley's "dirty laundry" for the most striptease-conducive song ever.  come to think of it, all don henley songs lend themselves to burlesque.  I can even see a slow, contemplative bump and grind being done to "boys of summer."
 
nothing new with "the dave situation," by the way.  currently drama free, knock on wood.
 
does anyone know where I can get a statue of the venus de milo with a clock in the stomach?  you'd think those would be easier to find.  maybe I'll just have to make due with a rain lamp.  I'm feeling awfully kitschy lately.
 
going to get new glasses on saturday.  old school indie hornrims or professional black wire frames?  part of me just isn't ready to let the scenester image go; I might have to stick with the former.
 
sheetz burger and fries for dinner.  the exercise bike calls.

so I've got this friend...dave, yeah his name's dave. dave was sitting at home the other night when one of his co-workers randomly showed up at his door (it was 3 a.m., by the by). dave invited said co-worker in, and they had a chat. turns out co-worker is secretly gay and has a crush on dave, who does not return the sentiment. co-worker also offered dave sexual favors, which dave wisely declined. the best part? co-worker's married.

wow, glad I'm not dave.

so anyway, fabulous night at two friends' apartment with dinner, wine, and chuckles (but not the gummy candy kind. do they still make those? I kind of hope not). it's good to know that I can still function in social situations.

must go register ophelia tomorrow. I've been driving around in an illegal car for weeks. tsk, tsk.

I've been browsing real estate books lately. not that I'm buying a house anytime soon, but financially it would be a possibility in the not-so-distant future. knock on wood; no job's safe nowadays.

off to lie down, ponder dave's situation, and go to sleep.

work tonight taken up with meetings and bull sessions, so not too productive. but what a night! got a raise, which is fab. also, I've gotten praise from middle management before, but tonight I got kudos from upper middle management. gotta love that corporate structure.

haircut today. I need to stop cutting my hair so short; it makes me look like a monkey. also FINALLY got my NC driver's license today, so I look like a monkey on it.

I'm pleased that john edwards is running with kerry on the prez ticket. the dynamic duo is winning over the hearts of queer groups left and right; the national stonewall democrats call them "the most pro-gay, pro-family ticket in the history of presidential politics." isn't it sad that we have to say that about two men who don't endorse equal marriage rights? well, baby steps in the right direction.

belle and sebastian's "books" ep might be their most fun non-album release ever; it's certainly the peppiest one since "legal man." I like.

I love my co-worker nadine. when she's not gabbing with us on break she's taken to studying a textbook on the proper usage of old english, just for kicks. it makes me want to go out and learn things.

so I just went and learned this: monkey wrenches were invented by charles moncke, hence the name.

what's with me and monkeys?

well, today was just crap on a crap cracker. first of all, the sexiest man who ever lived up and dies, casting a pall over things. I slept too late to get anything accomplished other than going to work, where I had an irritating night overall (the entire city of rialto, california can go straight to hell). the good news? long weekend! woo hoo!

not to jump on the bandwagon and make my musical taste still more indie-stereotypical, but franz ferdinand is just about the greatest band ever. an easy 10 out of 10 on the fun scale.

no plans for the fourth. but then no one I've talked to has had plans for the fourth. patriotism is so passe.

in the absence of buffy, I've taken to watching my so-called life reruns. yeah...I've got your so-called life right here for ya.

speaking of reruns on noggin, enough bitching before I start sounding completely daria-esque. the weekend's here and I could use a vodka rocks. heh...that's funny. "VODKA ROCKS!" well, it does.

just realized that I've missed buying the last THREE belle and sebastian singles. what the hell's wrong with me?

cleaned my oven today. exciting.

tagline from my favorite movie, lawless heart: "is the life you have the life you want?" poignant. I remember when life used to be about...anything.

I'm not depressed. I'm not shouting for joy, either. I just am.

what am I doing wrong?

not a lot of interest happening, but I need a brief rant.

I admit it, I enjoy listening to the radio. and yes, I mean commercial radio. I grew up on oldies and eighties tunes, and since my childhood was a pleasant one I rather enjoy reliving it through cheesy old brainless music. on my way to and from work I tend to switch back and forth between two stations (each catering to one of the aforementioned genres). a little motown here, a little genesis there, and I'm ready to knock out some bills. it's like junk food for my ears.

but the testostazene commercials have to stop. if I have to listen to old kermit-the-frog-soundin, impotence-curin, "I-sound-like-I've-never-had-sex-anyway" doctor richard cohen m.d. (men's health specialist) just one more time I think I may go postal. the airwaves are polluted with his nasal, annoying, horrendous voice. if messr. cohen and I ever meet face to face, he's going to need a lot more than testostazine to feel like "the man he used to be." he's going to need all the royalties from those radio spots to pay for reconstructive surgery. if I hit the number 4 preset on my radio, I'm lookin for some billy ocean. I do NOT want to hear about erectile dysfunction. even hearing the commercial once a day would be all right. but no, I have to hear it 5+ times. once I myself am over the dreaded age of 35 (according to herr doktor that's when things start to go downhill), maybe I'll feel differently--although I certainly hope not. at any rate, keep an ear open for reports of a wild gunman holed up in the city club and opening fire on downtown. I may just get pushed too far.

that wasn't brief. I apologize.

question for the masses: in "shout," exactly what are the things that tears for fears can do without?

dumb things I get excited about at work: after working at o.d. for almost a year, tonight I finally got to send something to a branch of kaiser permanente. I wish it had been a credenza. but I bet all their offices already have credenzas.

okay, so I'd tried to put off posting this until I took pictures, but a couple weeks ago I bought a second car. her name's ophelia. she's a silver 2000 miata. in theory I wanted a smaller car to save gas, but who am I kidding. driving that car is more fun than at least 80% of the sex I've ever had.

if memory serves.

every night this week I've actually gotten 8 hours of sleep, so time to go and keep up the good schluff. unless the men come to fix the holes. yep, still got the holes.

ah, weekend! how do I love thee? well, there was a fabulous party at sarah rosenblatt's new digs this evening--I wasn't sure about going, but ended up being glad that I did. I'm glad that I'm not as heavy a drinker as I used to be. it makes heavy drinking so much more enjoyable when I do endulge in it.

so I bought the first season of northern exposure on dvd today. wow, best show ever (almost; it's up there--no buffy, but you know, what is). watching it makes me really want to go to alaska. right now. I know that it was filmed in washington state and that the real alaska is probably nothing like the idealized tv version, but whatthehell. I'm going. not sure when, but it will happen.

my apartment has big holes in the ceiling. all these workmen came in and cut them out. something to do with the plumbing. I dunno. they're supposed to repair them soon, but for now it's all about the holes. the other night I was concerned about the dilapidated state of 4109 and spent the night at the high point radisson. what a fantastic night's (day's) sleep that was! note to self: get window shades and fluff pillows more throroughly.

note to all blog readers: find me a date. I'm headed straight for dirty-old-man-dom, and fast. the only answer is to put a stop to all this single/celibate nonsense.

speaking of putting a stop to things, this whole drunken stupor thing is getting tiresome. off to bed.

before I say anything more, believe it or not I've updated petrified fountain with reviews of harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban (a new not-so-much) and delicatessen (an old favorite).

so about this time I should be full of wild stories about the caffeinated days, the flannel clad nights, and the rainy afternoons of seattle. well, I ain't. being as how I was feeling kinda homesick and just not feeling the crosscountry trip thing, I decided to just head back to dubya-vee-ay for a couple days instead. I went ahead and took my two vacation days last week, though, and thoroughly enjoyed spending some time lounging around 4109 and resting my fingers.

"but jeremy, how will you know if you want to move to seattle if you didn't go?"

which brings me to the big reason I didn't go. that's easy...I'm not moving. my reasons are multiple:

1) money. I currently can't afford to shell out the $3k dollars it would take to move bag and baggage to the west coast, and I certainly wouldn't have the money it would take to keep me going until I got settled into a new apartment/job/etcetera.

2) sanity. something that I momentarily lost when I considered giving up my cushy, pleasant, $36k a year job to sink over $14k into film school when I've barely touched a camera. I might hate making movies. I might despise it. and I want to rearrange my entire life to devote a year to doing it, a year that would be a waste of time and money if I ended up being miserable and/or no good? riiiight.

3) familiarity. I'll be the first to admit it. I'm in a rut. I'm in the freakin grand canyon. but it's a nice enough rut to stay in just a little longer, and there's something to be said for a predictable life. and when you're in a rut, it's safer to ease out slowly--not blast yourself out like a torpedo.

4) family. at the risk of sounding like a pansy (can't have that), being 3000 miles away from my loved ones would be as hard for me as for them.

5) opportunity. picking up stakes and starting fresh would give me the chance to start an entirely new life. but staying put gives me the chance to improve the one I've got. I'm currently without any loose ends, so I can focus my energies on things like losing weight, being more organized, socializing more, getting involved in the community. all things I've been wanting to do...and things I've been neglecting in light of the impending move.

I'm not going to be doing data entry ten years from now. too depressing. but one year...that doesn't sound so awful. just one more year to think and plan and scheme. I can't let myself take much more. otherwise I'll only be a little better than the kids from high school who stayed in bluefield and are currently employed at the d.q. and similar establishments, the kids I've always felt sorry for. the ones who are just too scared to live. I'm not scared. I just want to make sure the pool's filled with water before I dive in.

I graduated from guilford a year ago now, and a year is ample time to have made up my mind. but in grand tradition, I haven't used my time wisely. meanwhile, I've become much more comfortable than I'd anticipated. so I've just got to keep on truckin (wow, given my occupation I should add "no pun intended" there) for a while until I know what I want. not what I guess I want.

I've got more to say, but I'm running out of energy for the evening. this has been jeremy, live from the real world. until next time!

just another happy peppy post to remind y'all that life is dull and unexciting. but better that than lively and filled with drama. I used to think that I'd trade my banal existence for some dramatic happenings any day, but I'm older and wiser now (note: I believe that I last had those thoughts about four months ago).

although changes are in the works. or are they non-changes? can something be said to remain static and yet be changed? I suppose not. then again, maybe there will be true changes after all. this is getting confusing. more to follow soon.

seattle comin up this weekend, which is sure to result in fascinating blog material. I wish that the thought of going didn't make me feel cranky. let's face it; it's really just the thought of losing sleep to make my flight that does it. I guard my sleep jealously. for those of you that don't already know the embarrassing tale, I tried to convince the bad news bearers (walter matthau) on the morning of 9/11 to let me go back to sleep.

buffy season 6 on dvd today! since wal-mart hadn't yet put them out as of 3:30 a.m., I'll have to hope that I can track one down this afternoon.

I miss carra. no connecting thoughts there, just thought I'd throw that out.

let the wild rumpus start! on second thought, I'll just go to bed instead.

oh, and here's that self-esteem boost I've been needing:


You're Rubik's Cube!! You may think you're
popular, but you're actually extremely
annoying. Seriously.


What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

another week of non-exploits. actually I did go to the beach yesterday, which was nice. however, given the rising price of petrol I'll have to start just going to wet n' wild (the carolinas' biggest waterpark, that is, and right here in g-boro) for sun and summer fun. yes, it's $22 per ticket. but getting to wrightsville and back costs about $40 in gas and around $10 for a day's parking. easy math, even for me.

of course, there is that pool a hundred yards or so from my front door. eh, why be sensible?

I ate vegetarian beef jerky today. honest. shiitake mushrooms and soy protein. tasted pretty good. but it didn't set very well on the tummy. but then what's a little nausea when you know that somewhere a cow is smiling without knowing exactly why?

regardless of the mixed jerky experience, I'd like to recommend earth fare's organic apple pie to everyone in the triad. here come those few pounds I've lost, floating back.

now that I've done my food reviews, I really need to write some more movie reviews in petrified fountain, and will do so soon. for now, suffice it to say that I recently saw band of outsiders (I'm not enough of a film snob YET to call it bande a part) and have come to the official conclusion that french people are weird. sorry, that's an unfair generalization. french people in the 60s were weird. I say that without fear of contradiction.

organic pie and new wave film. I disgust myself. I'm getting away from this thing to try and stop the encroaching pretentiousness. are there any adam sandler movies on the cable right now? I thought I might watch one while drinking hawaiian punch and scratching naughty body parts. that should hold it off.