time to revisit the subject of gay porn fan fiction. I'm glad that it's readily available about buffy; that's pleasing. there are web pages full of it--surprisingly (disturbingly?) well done pages. but people, please choose your matchups sensibly.

xander/oz = yummy.
xander/angel = quite nice
xander/spike = a little strange, but still okay.
xander/giles = NOT APPROPRIATE! anyone/giles = not appropriate.

I feel traumatized.

(I'm sure non buffy fans are busy not giving a damn, but I feel very strongly about this.)

how can I have lived for 23 years and never heard of deep fried mars bars being a popular snack in scotland? they are. I want one!

you know those situations where person A accuses person B of something, and person B says "do I look like the kind of person who...?" I've decided that people who say that are automatically guilty. it's too suspect. for example: someone asks me if I was the second gun on the grassy knoll. if I try to answer back with the kind-of-person routine, then I did, in fact, shoot jfk. it doesn't matter that I wasn't born yet and probably couldn't hit the side of a barn from ten feet if I did have a gun, I'm guilty. this theory should be admissable in court, I think.

interesting survey results in usa today, which I'd link to but it's acting wonky. anyway, the best u.s. cities for "dating scenes:" austin, colorado springs, san diego, seattle...and raleigh-durham? actually r-d was fourth, beating seattle. is it just me, or is that odd?

I'm starting to feel like a human being again for the first time in weeks. hope my spirits stay high. c'mon zoloft, work your magic.

actually doing well with my diet, more or less. if I can just get the initiative to dust off the stationary bike I'll start shaping up nicely.

discussion at work tonight leaves a still unanswered question. I pose this to all the pimply, thugged out, tricked-out-car driving wannabe playas out there, and I know there are a lot of you. your vehicles are generally impressive machines--metallic paint job, k&n filters, exhaust pipe big enough to stick your head into--and I totally respect the work that goes into them. but why do you recline your seats so far back if you're just going to HUNCH OVER THE DAMN WHEEL WITH YOUR NOSE PRACTICALLY TOUCHING THE WINDSHIELD??? IT LOOKS STUPID!!!

anyway.

went home and got cedric back, woo hoo! no more gas guzzling 4runner for me.

ali's birthday! happy birthday. isn't 23 absurd? I think it is.

writing under the influence of half a bottle of tequila. since my job robs me of a friday night, I don't feel guilty about making the most of sundays. doesn't everyone deserve two weekend nights? I think so.

started to watch lost in translation, but decided to see speedway junky for the 1000th time instead. one of the guiltiest of my guilty pleasures, it still makes me cry every time.

and it has prompted a rant. first of all, everyone stop for a minute and think about how lucky we all are to have been born human beings. I mean, couldn't we have just as easily been apes? or cockroaches? or paramecia? humans have the decided advantage of being tops in everything--intelligence, reasoning, the food chain. we're all damn lucky.

however, I feel that we're still bound by one major constraint: that of sexual orientation. all higher life forms are subject to the demands of the sex drive. in darwinian terms that makes sense. the survival of a species depends on its desire to procreate.

but, given the current state of our planet, is the predominant disposition toward heterosexual relationships really a sensible one? I won't explore that avenue any further for fear of sounding like I'm quoting the wanting seed. ever read that? it's pretty fucked up. I mean, it's by anthony burgess who wrote a clockwork orange, so of course it is. anyway.

still, think of what it would mean if everyone was completely and across the board bisexual! we could choose our life partners based solely on emotional and psychological attraction, and never mind the primal physical urges that we're such slaves to. divorce rates would plummet. societal tolerance levels for alternative lifestyles would surge. and, as far as darwinian principles go, I believe that the human race could still thrive while the problem of global overpopulation could be kept in check. as the "highest form of life," isn't that kind of freedom what we deserve?

sadly, there's still enough of the animal within all of us to make that kind of openmindedness impossible. perhaps human beings have made every possible stride in physical evolution. but who's to say that we won't continue to evolve psychologically? it is my hope that, even if it takes dozens of generations, we will reach this state of mind. only then can we live in harmony, fulfilled on every level. if you put aside societal convention, you'll see that I'm right. not that it matters--primal urges and whatnot--but I'm right. so there.

best get to bed soon. have volunteered to go into work an hour early every day. I have no life to speak of anyway, and I could use the money.

good morning, all.