I'm sorry if this makes me immature, but speaking of my personal cardinal truths:

"that's what she said" jokes are always funny.

one of the great truths of life (if you're into guys; this metaphor doesn't apply otherwise): no matter how content you are, part of you is always going to be waiting to walk out of a church to find jake ryan standing beside his porsche.

I always laugh when I hear about someone receiving "the key to the city." unfortunately, that doesn't happen much anymore. the absolute funniest city to receive the key to? pasadena. you know it's true. here are my top five funniest cities for keys:

1) pasadena, ca
2) spokane, wa
3) wilkes-barre, pa
4) toledo, oh
5) perth amboy, nj

I guess I have a new life's goal.