the last few days have been emotionally polar ones. a friend of mine is moving to alaska, which is a sad thing indeed. no one that I could label "a good friend," but someone that I truly wish I'd spent more time with. and he's moving to alaska. a bold move by any standards, one that makes me think about all the chances I haven't taken. studying law out west. studying film up north. all the adventures I passed up on. even thinking back on my life a few years ago--going to shows, partying on weekends (or during the week), learning...anything. I used to be alive, dammit!

not that I have anything to legitimately complain about. I don't regret any of the choices I've made, because they've provided a means to the fulfilled, comfortable life that I lead now. I guess what I'm wondering is...is this it? am I done? an actualized life at the ripe old age of twenty-four? no more adventures, no more prospects? I just don't know if I'm ready to accept that.

there's this mental image that always pops up when I ask myself, "who do you wish you were?" I see myself in greenwich village, union square I think. it's a fall day, cool and breezy (of course it's usually breezy in manhattan). I'm wearing a tweed jacket over a sweater and jeans. I'm holding a 35 mm movie camera. I look up, I smile, and I revel in all the life around me, wanting to take it all in, to capture it.

this from the guy who is too lackadaisical to even take up cinematography as a hobby.

on a completely different note, is it too much to ask that a supermarket carry peanut butter cookies? harris teeter at friendly center doesn't, unless they're well hidden. no major brands, none in the deli, no bake your own (except ones that have reese's pieces). grr.

well, it's turning out to be the best weekend ever. all my doubts about the lion, the witch and the wardrobe were laid to rest. it's an amazing film--beautifully shot, superbly acted, and astoundly true to the book. and I have a reallllllly big celebrity crush on william moseley (peter), the marvelously lame sort of crush that is usually peculiar to 13-15 year old girls. in fact, since I never inline images anymore and should get back in the habit:











I mean, come on!

how can you not find that adorable?














speaking of habits, my talk here has been unhealthily guy focused of late. I should really mention ladies more...so how bout that miss hathaway? pretty bodacious, huh?

trip to winston tomorrow to complete (???) Christmas shopping. money's not my main holiday obstacle this year--it's creativity, or lack thereof. you know what I like? when people I know just say, "get me _______." that is music to my ears. failure to have done so this year may just mean a gift card, people. and I'm also weary of this "oh, you don't have to get me anything" crap. OF COURSE I DON'T HAVE TO GET YOU ANYTHING! I could be a selfish bastard and spend all my money on myself, but I'm a damn nice person, dammit! if I had some idea of what to buy you, it would be bought and paid for! I'm asking for your help, here! HELP ME ALREADY!!!

aah, much better.