feeling down tonight...this morning. once in a great while I get in this frame of mind I call "reality crash;" getting into the details of my thought processes is depressing, so suffice it to say that I feel a little hopeless at the moment. and, due to other situational factors, lonely. but before I get completely maudlin I'll shut up.

at least there's getting my car back to look forward to. going to wv on saturday morning to get the freshly repaired cedric. no more gas guzzler for me.

sticking to the diet, but feeling hungry and grumpy. I need to eat more regularly--part of the anorexic mindset (and ex-anorexic mindset) is equating the feeling of hunger with the sense that one is losing weight. the hungrier, the thinner. of course I'm more rational than that these days, but old habits die hard.

TGIF, baby.

ahhh. my neck's been incredibly sore and stiff lately, so I bought one of those perverted looking shiatzu massagers. perverse or not, it's wonderful.

started diet today. had ambitious plan to quit smoking as well...but decided to taper off instead, heh. I mean, trying to lose weight and lay off cigs at the same time? I must have been mad!

celebrated saint patty's day by...oh, never mind, I didn't. but I wore lots of green.

sick of working 90 minutes of overtime every freakin night. I'm never going to get anything accomplished other than job-related work if this keeps up, as it saps my energy so. and the laundry piles up, the oil doesn't get changed, the taxes don't get done...sigh.

enough bitching. time for some kickass lean cuisine! (yeah, I just keep telling myself that.)

had a random dream last night that I bought a 1971 chevelle ss for $2000. it looked like this. today went on ebay and found a 71 chevelle for $2000! it looks like this. aren't dreams wonderful things? anyone who wants to spend about $20k on me, now you know what to do.

foggiest night ever. had to creep home for fear of ending up like jayne mansfield. no pirates in it, though, nor did I see springheel jack. pity.

WILL call pitt tomorrow. is pittsburgh my best option? I wonder. by the end of the month all choices must be made; I have to stop being able to say "nothing's set in stone."

gotta go. my eggplant parmesan's not getting any warmer.

heh...we just had that party. I thoroughly enjoy attempting to type when I'm drunk. only a handful of people showed up, but it was a good handful.

cassie called. love cassie. love ali too; she's now MANAGER AT HER THEATER! might marry ali, except for cheesecake who I talk about in a minute.

why does bedroom smell like sweat? no sweat here.

no cheesecake, either. cheesecake is at the beach. in love with cheesecake? perhaps. debacle a thing of the past...infatuation not so. never been in love before, methinks. not in love now, either. being silly.

but josh made the best guacamole ever. stroh's isn't bad beer; had several. face is numb like from botox injections. oh, and the head! the head lolls like a proverbial bladder on a stick.

plan to sleep until monday afternoon. but first the shining is on tnt. whee!!!!!!!!!!!!