so I'm starting to wonder if it's NOT the bubonic plague. I feel so terrible; I can tell I have a pretty freaky fever by the alternating sweats and chills (they're multiplying) I'm getting. the only reason I'm sitting here writing is cuz I had to get up for a popsicle and realized that I can actually breathe when I'm upright. still, bed feels sooooo good.

although I did go to the doctor today about my happy pills (I got a prescription, but I forget what they're called--something that starts with a d) and he didn't seem concerned about my illness. something going around, he said. by the way, no one clued me in that the guilford doctor is so HOT. I mean, if you like that blond-haired, blue-eyed aryan kind of hot (I do). I look forward to my follow-up appointment.

so in case it isn't yet obvious, it looks like I'm going to have to skip out on tomorrow's myrtle beach trip. which sucks not only because I have to stay here, but also because I'm out $30 on the ticket and $36 on the motel. but I can't risk overtiring myself and not being ship-shape for nyc on wednesday. which I WILL be, dammit.

oh, so bryan made it back ok, although I haven't seen him. I've heard him and hannah milling around the apartment. it might be lucky for bryan that he's been spending so little time here; he might be the only one safe from the plague.

dammit, it all comes back to being ill. I'm going to eat my popsicle and shut up about it and maybe I'll feel better. ta.

uggghhh...I am sick. I felt pretty woozy when I woke up this morning, but chalked it up to getting so little sleep. after class I hung out with carra and ashley for a couple hours, and we eventually went out to dinner. while we talked I could actually feel myself getting progressively more sniffly and headachy and sneezy until this evening I realized that it was a full-blown cold. at least, I hope that's all it is...every year I say I should get a flu shot but don't. but let's not talk like that. I'm sure it's nothing more serious than the bubonic plague. but I've been lying around in my pyjamas and moaning a lot; it seems to be my mission in life for the moment.

last I heard bryan was stuck in carrboro with a dead car. josh couldn't pick him up (too much work), I couldn't pick him up (too much snot), ali couldn't pick him up (too much lack of license/car). I dunno what he's done about his situation. note to readers: get AAA cards, for cryin in the bucket. sure it's like a whole $30 a year, but you never know when you'll need it.

so gabe's still moving back to santa fe this month, but NOW he's planning to move BACK here in december. aroo? well, I guess the work experience he can get at home will help him land something here. and I certainly won't complain about having him around.

carra was nice enough to let me sponge off her considerable cd collection, so maybe I'll listen to something besides rilo kiley for a change tonight...eh, maybe not. I've put too much mental energy into my r.k. obsession to drop it just yet. mazzy star, rufus wainwright et al. will wait patiently for me, I'm sure.

I feel very grainy at the moment. I'm in a conundrum: should I try to go to sleep and trust myself to rise at 10:15 for class, or just stay awake? I slept until after 2:00 today, so an all-nighter shouldn't be a problem, but I'm really zapped. I would be asleep already, but charles was here until 2:30 and then I went to have a bullshit session with carra about this (great) short story that she's submitting in a competition. so I just walked in.

I went to see ernest again today, but we didn' t have much to talk about as I won't see the doctor until friday. however, he called jim hood and got him to e-mail richie zweigenhaft for me. basically jim said "jeremy told me I could tell you he's crazy and ernest is trying to uncrazify him. that's why he hasn't been coming to class. please be nice and let him make up his work and not fail. thanks." I felt bad that ernest did that, and told him that it was like asking for a get-out-of-jail-free card. "well," ernest sez, "if you have a card, you ought to use it." I guess. and after all, graduation is at stake here.

gaaa...I think I may try the whole sleep thing after all. wish me luck in waking.

What Jeremy Does with His Insomnia:


Mean lil fellow, arn't you?


What Monty Python Character are you?
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Margot Tenenbaum


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Lazy Line-Painter Jane.


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you're ben gibbard of death cab for cutie...there's
really not much to say besides that,
well...that and your morbid in your
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one last thing before bed and dreams about torte. my guestbook actually works now, so feel free to sign away. thanks a heap to the two whole people who've loved me enough so far to sign it...

I've had the weirdest feeling all day that something is going to happen. my nerves have been on edge constantly. I went so far as to call home and quiz mom on whether everyone was OK. so far it's all good, but I can't help but wonder if tomorrow will hold anything of note. knock on wood it won't be anything bad.

james might be interested in splitting the apartment with me this summer, hooray! he would be ideal, since he's such a morning person--if I had to drop him by campus at 8:00 a.m. on my way to work he wouldn't care. what with my nonexistent job and all.

ali and I went to jan's tonight and had to overhear the most annoying conversation. this one guy kept pontificating about how much of an adjustment it was to move from NYC to GSO, how he'd never been part of a close-knit group of friends, and how he hadn't heard of yo la tengo. all those things are fine things to say, but it was the way he said them. we hate him. when we take over, he'll be the first to go.

I suck, by the way. I overslept and missed my ernest appointment and doctor's appointment this morning. I'll have to eat humble pie and reschedule tomorrow.

I haven't mentioned "bb&t guy" here before, so I'll preface this story with a brief bio: teller at my bank, amazingly cute in a nerdy way, and maybe gay/maybe not. whenever I go to the bank I keep my fingers crossed that he'll wait on me, but he rarely does. today not ONLY did he cash my check, he waved aside my offer of my account number with, "that's okay, I remember you." he's in love with me, I think. he thinks about me all the time. he writes awful poems about me and doodles our names together on his notebooks. he can't rest for wanting me lying next to him, and has to hug pillows to get any sleep. it's totally obvious.

I had this weird dream last night about gothfield (the dream bluefield, remember). I went into an antique shop to sell all this glassware I had; I was carrying it on a tray. it was late at night, but being gothfield everything was open. I was told to come back in a few minutes when the appraiser was there, so I went into this restaurant that was part of a hotel. I ordered a chocolate torte and coffee. I woke up soon after. so now I'm going to bed; I really need to finish that torte. it had layers of graham crackers and was quite yummy.

I can do the frug
I can do the robocop
I can do the freddy
I cannot do the smurf...

that's it; I'm going to bed.

I keep thinking it's monday, but I'm sure as hell glad it's not. I do have to get up early tomorrow to see the doctor, though, about the meds possibility. maybe that's why I'm confused.

last night was wacky. I seem to have lost my tolerance for rum, so a few nips of captain morgan's finest made me act very silly indeed. didn't do much, just staggered to bryan and back again. josh was partying hardcore until after I went to bed, hanging out with the 731 folks and stuff. other than that, pretty quiet but still fun.

josh cooked an excellent family dinner tonight, tofu dog "pigs in blankets" and fries. bryan wasn't too thrilled to find out about the veggie dog end of it, but the residents of the hotel yorba now include one full-on veggie and one non-beef eater. as such, it's meatless sundays from here to eternity. fine by me; I'll stay a little healthier that way.

philosophical: I did the whole "star light, star bright" thing tonight with the first one I saw. I won't divulge my wish, but will say that I generally just wish for happiness. corinne once said that it's the only thing worth wishing for--since any other wishes tie in with it somehow, and it's one of the few things you're guaranteed to get at some point, in some quantity. I think that my happiness is contingent on six basic things: love, money, friends, family, health, and God. I have all those things now, except for money--I don't count any that I have, for it's not really my own.

which is why I need to start job hunting stat. it's now march, and the hour groweth late. I've been working on my resume, pitiful thing that it is. I'm going to get some letters of recommendation and build portfolios around that. on the tuesday of break, when I don't have anything to do, I'm going to put on a shirt and tie and make the rounds to every publication in town, foisting copies on anyone who'll take them. I think it's my best course of action.

I also need to round up an apartment mate for the summer, as josh will be at home. if anyone knows of someone who will be in GSO this summer with a car and $315 per month to pay for half of a stunning apartment, do pass it on. homo sapiens a must, neuroses a plus.

again, I'm anxious for spring break, but it's just sinking in that it starts this friday. dude. so much good stuff going on that I need to psyche myself up for. I wish jack zerbe would contact us with more details about the NYC trip. that'd help.