a quick update--as it's been such a marvelous day. ali and I took carra up to hollins today so she could meet up with tracy (her sister) and ride back home. then back to roanoke for a drive up to the star, dinner at saltori's, and coffee at mill mountain. it was a delightful way to kill a day; would have been better if the weather had been nicer.

the plan for tonight was to chill out with a cheesy flick, but ali, josh and I ended up bullshitting for five solid hours about everything under the sun. I do love my friends. we've finally consigned ourselves to bed; good thing, as our radio show is in less than nine hours!

so one of our big discussion topics tonight was sex (what a shocker). my sexual theory: the bottom line is that sex is physical contact. period. sex can be an extension of other emotions (love, etc), but doesn't have to be. nor should sex be construed as evidence of emotional attachment. and most important--in any sexual encounter, the parties involved should all be aware of and comfortable with what they expect and what is expected of them. if everyone lays their cards on the table and is cool with whatever is going on, great.

in general, I just think that people read way too much into sex. it's societally constructed. there's no innate mechanism in the human brain that connects intercourse with interpersonal emotion. but over hundreds of years--thousands, I suppose--we've come to intertwine the two. that's why people are so prudish and guarded. at least, that's what I think. I guess that my views on sex are a little cheap, but I've become awfully jaded over the past few years. and after all I've been through with various and sundry people, I guess I just can't help feeling sorry for people who make sex into a big deal. it's just not realistic.

I'll tell you what else isn't realistic about sex. the prospect of my having any in the near future. I guess I'll just have to pour myself into my research paper...which I still have to do...

presentation and paper complete, huzzah! celebrated by finishing off the southern comfort I had left over. went to the suite tonight where I hung out with the customary beautiful people plus a couple of delicious men that I had not hitherto encountered. it was a fabulous night, although it's left me feeling hideously oversexed. well.

speaking of oversexed, decision: a certain guy that I've had an on/off crush on for over two years is going to hear about it very, very soon. I just need to catch him around and partying this weekend or, at the very latest, next. not that I expect anything to come of it...but I'll keep everyone posted.

I think ali and I are going to truck it up to roanoke tomorrow, for the simple reason that we have nothing better to do. hooray for fridays!

anyway, time to crawl into bed. alone. alone in bed. well, fuck. I need to get a hobby or something.

well, I'm sitting in bauman with half an hour til class, so I might as well post. I had planned an all-nighter, but ended up eating massive amounts of sorbet, watching a few minutes of "rushmore" (which I usually do), and falling asleep. so now I've got to finish my paper for jack this afternoon. whee. but other than organizing the film festival (which is next thursday), I'm pretty much home free after tonight. so if anyone needs a party pal, I'm your guy.

okay, there. I've posted. I have nothing more to say. perhaps I'll just play texttwist until my mind explodes. nah, not after all the work I've done for my 12:45 presentation. toodles.

but first...


You are Nino!


Which Amelie character are you?
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you know, I realized today that it's been at least a week since I've genuinely given any thought to anything. I just haven't had any interest in getting work done, rounding up a job, or cleaning my disgusting room. the days pass by so quickly and never seem to amount to much. that's why I have my work cut out for me tonight--I have to start thinking so I can knock out a presentation and a paper for tomorrow. after tomorrow night I'll actually be able to get back on track, I hope.

speaking of my nasty room, it's amusing to me that I have three cups of iced coffee of varying age sitting fairly close together. it's like playing russian roulette. one will taste good, one will taste terrible, and one may bring about instant death. decisions, decisions...

my computer, fabulous though it is, lacks powerpoint. so I'm off to bauman. woo hoo.

I am completely wackta for not being asleep right now, but I've just been so keyed up from tonight. got everything ready to go to the postal service show just in time to leave. called ben gibbard on his cell phone (yes kids, I have his number, bloo ha ha!) to arrange everything but got no answer. hmm. waited around, talked to jenny lewis for a sec; she was a sweetheart as usual. but it was all good; the band showed up and let us in, even sans tickets--and the show was sold out.

so ben was a helluva nice guy. I was a little nervous and bumbling, but the interview went swimmingly. especially our conversation about putting slayer tapes in teddy ruxpin. got great pix of me with him, me with CEX (in which I'm poised to lick his deliciously sexy--well, CEXy--face), and of the show in general, which was GREAT. the openers, shallow be thy name, weren't actually as bad as their name suggests. CEX's set was hilarious as always, although he didn't do "the beehive song," which we really looked forward to. and the postal service was phenomenal. no stage lights, just projected video behind. and they finished by covering--get this--phil collins' "take a look at me now." I'm still floating from the experience.

although with two papers and a presentation due on thursday I'd better get my fucking feet on the ground. and my head on the pillow. God bless huey for not having class this week; I can sleep a wee bit later.

it's been a crazy couple of days indeed. backing up to friday: went to see the drive-by truckers in carrboro w/josh. opening band, leadfoot, was a brand of awful not to be believed. truckers rocked out hardcore, and played for almost three hours. we were exhausted but pleased.

yesterday: back to carrboro w/josh to see crooked fingers and spoon. debacle: I left my ticket at home, so josh and I were both going to buy at the door. sold out. after much dejectedness...well, let's just say it pays to know the right people to weasel you in. for free, no less.

the opening act for that show, fiery furnaces, was hilariously funny. crooked fingers did great stuff as always, although their guitarist really needs to take his ritalin--slow songs, fast songs, he ran around like a maniac regardless. spoon ROCKED, although the house (while jam packed) seemed sort of lackadasical. the lead singer is absolutely delicious. I then came back and hung out with my bryan hall peeps.

today: the 'rents came. co-signed for the apartment and took the crew out to dinner at liberty. had a very nice visit.

despite all this marked goodness, I'm in a really down mood. talking with my parents about graduation, the lease, and the job prospects reiterated that I'm not a kid anymore. maturity be damned, all I want is to be taken care of for a little while longer. it's not about money, or work ethics, or any of that. it's about not feeling ready to completely cut loose. if I had ever been a thumb sucker, it'd definitely be in my mouth right now.

also...and this story will sound convoluted, but I have to be vague...I was having a little online dialogue about life in general with some folks that I trust. I told them about something that had happened to me, what I thought was a goofy little anecdote that they'd find amusing. not a big deal. well, I came under complete personal attack. I was called "sick" and "juvenile," accused of having no morals. I was called every name in the book short of "republican." could it be that I'm not as intrinsically good as I've always thought? the whole exchange made me feel like a terrible person. I'd canvas the area for hugs, but it'd just raise too many questions. wow, that sounds funny. but it's true.

so the overall sentiment right now is one of extreme distress. I need to work--and come up with questions for tomorrow's postal service interview--but first I think I might need to take a drive or something. sigh.