heh...funny...



Take The Test!

these past two days have been nothing short of amazingly wonderful. the storm didn't get bad enough to cancel most morning classes (just 8:30s), but it worsened yesterday and the ice got really dangerous. the power went out around 1:00 (I think; I was in class). I freaked out because I hadn't finished my exam for jack's class, and knew that he wouldn't cut us any slack. the campus network was dead and I had no way to access my work. but as it turned out, they cancelled night classes and we have the weekend to do it.

the outage was OK, though; milner got evacuated and charles came over here. gabe showed up and we sat around candles and talked. hilarity ensued, as per usual. we finally went to k-vegas to denny's, only to find that the entire town was dark. came back to gso denny's before going home to bed--with power restored.

then today. slept gloriously late, then left for carrboro with josh and ali. good dinner, then to the rilo kiley show. so fucking amazing. I think they're endangering death cab for cutie's status as my second favorite band...anyway, they're definitely a close third. I got to meet jenny lewis (lead singer) and blake sennett (guitar/vocals, and yes, he WAS pinsky on "salute your shorts") and be a big nerd asking them to sign my cd case. they were very cool folks, and will play around here again in june. I'm so there.

I didn't get to go to the doctor today; they called and cancelled. guess I won't know til monday what, if any, crazy pills I get to take.

bryan hasn't been in the apartment in days. he must be enjoying a conjugal visit with hannah. and by that I mean...

forgot to mention that we got a new dishwasher courtesy of maintenance, finally. she is a beautiful white appliance that has been christened gloria.

I'm ready for spring break. I want it. I want to lock it all up in my pocket. it's my bar of chocolate. give it to me...now!

heh. I was thinking of beginning this post with "I'm tired...", but then I looked at my last one. well, I'm tired. I've managed to crank out a four page play scene and a five page paper so far tonight, but I still have my queer cinema final to worry about. maybe the ice storm will worsen and they'll at least cancel morning classes (it's supposed to cause some problems, but hasn't yet). we can only hope.

bought a new printer at best buy today. mom--thanks for letting me keep the tuition refund; it's been put to good use!

saw ernest today. is it usual for a mental health professional to recommend medication after a 20 minute conversation? maybe he's right; I'm supposed to see the school doc on friday to get his advice on the matter. all I know is I'd do anything to stabilize my mood a little. ernest thinks I have dysthymia--a low-grade form of depression that works in long cycles of ups and downs. all the symptoms fit; he even said it usually starts around age 12 or 13, which is when I basically went batshit for a while. we'll just see how it goes.

george w. was on the tv earlier, now it's saddam hussein. I always doubted whether a hussein interview would air on a major network in the states...the powers that be would be too afraid that he'd make bush look dumb. now that we're seeing one, well...put it this way. josh and ali are watching in the living room when I go in. me: "so how much smarter than bush does he seem so far?" josh: "hard to say. wish I spoke arabic." yeah.

I randomly checked rilo kiley's tour schedule last night, and they're playing in carrboro on friday. what luck! I'm so addicted to that album.

in fact, have some lyrics:

"oh, you're almost home.
I've been waiting for you to come in.
dancing around in your old suits
going crazy in your room again.
I think I'll go out and embarrass myself
by getting drunk and falling down in the street.
you say I choose sadness,
that it never once has chosen me.
maybe you're right..."
--rilo kiley, "the good that won't come out"

I'm all tired and shit and should be in bed, so just a quick post before I sleep. it's good to be back, I guess, but it continues to be tough holding it all together. I actually see ernest at one tomorrow; I'm anxious to see what he has to say about my problems. tomorrow's a full day, meeting after meeting and mid-term crap and a paper. wednesday I usually get to rest. sigh.

had a nice dinner at vito's with charles, then back here to watch "notorious c.h.o." his relatives are giving him a really hard time. they want to sell his dad's house (which HE inherited, along with the car and the plane and various other assets that people would love to get their greedy hands on), and are making all these decisions about what's to be done about this and that and not giving him any input. I keep telling him to be more forceful. he's been very anxious lately, and I told him that the perfect release would be to call some of those bitches and give them what-for. I'll do it myself if I have to--I think the situation pisses me off as much as it does charles. honestly I'm almost as irritated with him for not getting a friggin lawyer already, but that's neither here nor there.

bought the newer of the two rilo kiley albums today at gate city noise, also picked up the postal service album. both are astounding. I wish that the postal service was getting more QFS play; I haven't seen this week's charts, but I think it was #10 last week. college stations across america are recognizing--it's #1 on many charts I've looked at. even uber-anal pitchforkmedia.com gave it an 8.0. granted, on the whole QFS still kicks royal ass; our charts have much more good stuff and much less crap on them than most of the competitions'. so I won't bitch too much.

josh is one of the male nominees for student graduation speaker. needless to say, he's getting my vote. of course he's become a household name recently over his efforts to oust howard coble as guest speaker, which is why he'll get a lot of votes, but there are plenty of other good reasons. he's articulate, witty, ambitious, involved on campus, conscious of guilford values...and the fact that he's a quaker certainly doesn't hurt. take note, all ye fighting quakers/loyal blog readers!

ever been really tired and started shutting one eye then the other, alternating between the two? I'm doing that now. time to get the fuck in bed.

thunderstorm tonight. first one of those I've seen in quite a while. this winter has been so bizarre.

I spent almost three hours talking to dad tonight. unfortunately the first hour was devoted to one of his economics lectures--once he gets started on 401(k)s and insurance policies and pensions and who-knows-what-else there's no stopping him. I'm just lucky we weren't in the kitchen, or he would have started to go through "his papers." that's this big file of documents that relate to his business and financial affairs. he likes to discuss them in detail with anyone who'll listen. he's mildly obsessed with "his papers;" I think he dreams about them.

anyway, the remainder of our talk was great. he had a lot of insights into my current situation that were very helpful. he thinks that I worry too much about myself as part of a collective and not enough as an individual. that's very true, I think. like with all the classes I've missed. I haven't given much thought to how they would affect my grade; I've been more concerned with how my absences affect the image that I project. and I spend so much time sitting up alone at night watching TV. I never get any time to myself during the daytime hours, so I make up for it that way. dad thinks that I need to learn to say no to people more often, spread myself less thinly, and concentrate more on the here, now, and crucial--all the while thinking in terms of how I will benefit. I need to try that; it might be the answer to a lot of my problems.

it's no wonder I like mrs. dalloway so much. I'm a lot like her.

another thing to improve upon: my fucking weight. I stepped onto scales for the first time in months today. I won't disclose what they said, but let's just say that I now weigh more than I ever have. you know what, though? people talk about feeling so much better when they're thin? at my thinnest I weighed about 25 pounds less than I do now, and I didn't feel that different, and I didn't have any more energy. I guess acknowledging that isn't much of an incentive, huh?

the damn dog got hold of a bottle of super glue tonight and chewed it all up. it's a wonder he's not dead. we now have white crusty stuff all over the kitchen floor, though. time to buy some nail polish remover.

"wild things" was on the TV last night. I'm sorry, but I really enjoy that movie. matt dillon is doubtlessly a big part of that. I do so love swarthy, testosterone laden guys who look like they can lift heavy things. you can keep your brad pitts and your matthew mcconaugheys, with their hairless gym-toned torsos and model-perfect haircuts. not enough man in those men, and if I wanted a girl, well, I'd just date one.

speaking of dating, I think I'll go make some pancakes.