as I need to be at jake's diner for breakfast in about four hours anyway, I have given up on bed. so much the better for a pre-graduation, sappy, introspective blog entry.

I know a lot of fancy words. I can even spell some of them (otolaryngologist--eat it, baby). but nothing in my vocabulary can express the glut of emotion I feel upon spending my last night at guilford college. as often as I find fault with my school...only to be mine for a precious few more hours...it's not half as often as I'm willing to kiss the long brick path leading up to founders hall in sheer, utmost gratitude. I owe my parents a lot. I owe my friends a lot. but nothing touches the debt that I am in to guilford, and we're not talking about student loans here. if not for this sometime-hellhole of higher education, I don't know who I'd be. and, believe it or not, I like who I am. for the most part, anyway.

from first-year laundry sack races through second floor binford to the drunken staggerings of senior year, it's all been worth every fucking minute. I've gone from being a tommy hilfiger obsessed skaterprep (bleached blonde and all) to...well...to someone very different. more grounded, yet somehow more focused on fun. more idealistic, yet more cynical. comparing 1999 jeremy to 2003 jeremy is so absurd that it's almost pointless to try.

so much water under these bridges. I've loved and been loved, loved and lost, loved and never had. I've tried things that I never would have considered in high school. I've developed the sense not to try things that I once considered. and most of all--God yes, most of all--made the best friends that anyone could ever wish for. some of them are true veterans, there from day one. some are recent acquisitions, and some have faded into sepia tones. and I wouldn't trade any of them for all the sushi in l.a.

I know what a paradigm is now. I know what peppermint schnapps tastes like. I recognize the glory that is cook out at 2 a.m.

and that leads up to the worst part. it's 3:52 a.m. at the moment. in roughly eight hours I will no longer be "jeremy the guilford college student." that's something that I take great pride in being, something that defines me. and I have absolutely no idea what my next identity will be. but whatever it is--for the rest of my life--it wouldn't be possible without these fabulous four years.

I thank the greatest family anyone's ever had. I thank my friends (see preceding description). I thank God.

and I thank Guilford.

next entry: "real world jeremy."

good night.