my mind has been in random overdrive lately:

Q: if charlie tuna had a band, what genre would it be?
A: alba-core.

the next time someone starts telling me how great the atkins diet is, I'm going to respond with, "well, personally I'm a big fan of the edgar atkins teagarden diet. alllllll watermelon!" if the person actually knows what I'm talking about, I'm proposing marriage right there (sorry josh, you're disqualified; I'm already aware you're in the know on this one).

I realized tonight that time travel will never be discovered. if that was destined to happen, no high profile war/assassination/atrocity would have occurred. ever. at some point some enterprising person would zip back in history to stop them all. yeah, I know that's paradoxical, but everything about time travel is anyway.