what I want for Christmas: a 9 to 5 job.

position: I dunno, whaddya got?

location: gso metro.

salary: $35000+

my resume: I have a nearly valueless B.A.; its primary use is to make people think that I know what I'm talking about. I'm a charismatic self-starter who's qualified for just about anything, provided that it's nothing. I do NOT have 2-5+ years of experience in "the field," and won't be able to get it unless some poor sucker hires me. I'm detail oriented when it suits me. I'm independent and have experience successfully delegating responsibility and managing task forces (read: I'm a pigheaded boob who doesn't play very well with others). my strong suit is my uncanny ability to consistently show up on time (give or take 10 minutes), do my job relatively well, and leave as quickly as possible.

please contact me for a copy of my portfolio. if you want one without mustard stains, give me a while.