sorry I haven't updated in so long. I've been waiting for...life to stabilize. but if I wait on total stability, I don't know when I'll ever be writing here. most people reading this already know that the past few weeks have been--without question--the darkest period of my life. I've had my share of tough times before, but I honestly never believed that just getting through a day could be so hard. if not for my parents' support I seriously doubt that I would be alive to write this. I mean that literally. several aspects of my life that had been running fairly smoothly fell completely apart at once, and it was more than I could handle and still function. I took a little "vacation," and mom stayed with me for a while as well. I've been able to rely on my good old friends, and even made some funky new ones. I'm only just starting to believe that there might be a tiny bit of hope for any lasting happiness in the future, but haven't convinced myself quite yet. and I'm still not at a place where I wake up every day and am glad that I did, sad to say. logically I know that eventually I'll get past it all. but emotionally I just can't say that now. I'm sorry to report that if 2008.5 is going to happen after all, it's going to be late. but I'm working on it. I'm working as hard as I can, promise.