crazy few days. moved into the new apartment (with much help from my AWESOME pals and relations), and it is amazing. it's only about half a block north of fisher park, so the neighborhood is fab. the building dates from 1924: high ceilings, hardwood floors, truly unique plumbing fixtures. and it's the first time I've ever had a dining room, complete with chandelier. it has some drawbacks—third floor walk-up, no dishwasher, street parking only—but I think the advantages are more than worth it. especially considering that it's cheaper and MUCH larger than the others I considered. I've got to do a bit of painting to make it perfect, but all in all I'm stoked.

I hope that my friends and family have set a precedent there, as well. so far it's almost never empty of great people. my open door policy has seem to have taken hold, and I'm thrilled. it's strange to be living alone, so it's nice that I'm usually, well, not.

I just wish that I was as happy at work as I am at home. my office is such an awkward, depressing place for me to be. even the people there that I consider my friends don't make me entirely comfortable these days. I have such great afternoons hanging out with folks, running around town, or just sitting at home. but when it's time to go to work my mood plummets. tonight I was really afraid I'd have a panic attack at one point. when it comes to my co-workers, it just feels like there's me...and there's them. I know how paranoid that sounds, but things are just so...well, polarized, I guess. as someone who genuinely likes to get along with everyone, that's hard for me. the problem is, I've wracked my brain trying to think of ways to make it better. I keep coming up empty. there are things that I could do, but I can only envision them making the situation worse. I can't change jobs. I'm qualified for a whole lot of nothing. besides, I still truly like the job itself. all I can do is suck it up. hard to do when the place you spend most of your waking hours is the place you least want to be.


I never have been good at seeing the glass as half full. for now, it's maybe….two-fifths.